A bar is a public space. Please refrain from behaviors you would not do in other public spaces, like the library. These include: yelling, throwing food, and being intimate with the person you either came with or just picked up-we really don't need to see you groping each other, thanks. Remember, there are both people who work at the bar, or who are patrons, who will be subjected to your behavior. This is a great circumstance for the golden rule: If you don’t want people at the table next to you screaming and hollering, you really shouldn’t do so either.
Keep your hands off the server. If you are trying to get their attention, saying “excuse me” works wonders. You do not need to grab, poke, or prod the server to get them to look at you. Also, please refrain from putting your arm around the server, or similar grabs. Unless we are close friends, grabbing me is intruding on my personal space, and I am not pleased. Remember, folks, three-foot bubble of personal space. If the music is incredibly loud, or the server is distracted, and “excuse me” does not work, then you may tap the server on the shoulder. However, like I said, do not grab.
Please pay attention to the person who gets your drinks. If you are sitting at a table and the server comes to check on your table, that is the ideal time to order a new drink. Five minutes later when the server is walking past your table to check on another is not. This rule also applies when you are sitting at the bar. If you are sitting at the bar and facing away from the bartender (such as being turned around to talk to someone standing away from the bar) do not be surprised when the bartender lacks the psychic insight to know when you want a new drink. When ordering a new drink, face the bar/bartender long enough for them to give you the new drink and take the money for the drink. The bartender has other customers and would rather not yell to get your attention so they can give you the drink you ordered thirty seconds ago. Bonus: if you really want to talk to your friends, move to a table. Then you can all face each other and a server can take care of you.
Please pay attention to your surroundings. This particularly applies to people who are standing because they sometimes stand in the middle of a walkway or in front of the server’s station. Key indicators that you are in the way: being repeatedly asked to step aside, or you are standing in front of a computer screen. Please realize that the only way, especially at the bar where I work, for a server to get a drink for a customer is for the server to enter that drink into the computer. Please be courteous enough to take a few steps to the side where you are not interfering with the server’s job. Ditto this for the portion of the bar-often marked with vertical rails-where the server picks up their drinks.
Run a tab where you start it. If you start a tab at the bar, please stay at the bar. If you start a tab upstairs, please stay upstairs. If you start a tab at a table, please stay at a table. The key point here is that when you run a tab, and we run your credit card to close it, one person gets the tip. This means starting a tab with a bartender, then moving to a table and adding to that same tab while a waitress serves you, means the waitress gets stiffed. Of course, a lot of co-workers will divvy the tip with cash, but it’s a hassle. Please close out your bar tab before moving to a table, or consider tipping each person cash. This means you’re acknowledging that two people, not just one, took care of you.
Last, but not least: If you get cut off, don’t throw a fit. It’s in the bartender or server’s best interest not to cut you off. The more drinks you order, the more tips we get. So, if we say you’ve had enough, please accept that. We’re saving you money, throwing up, a worse hangover, etc. Also, being cut off does not necessarily mean we want you to leave. Most of the time we’re more than happy to bring you a glass of water and let you stick around. Limiting your alcohol does not mean we don't like you, it just means you've had enough.
I’ve been waitressing for over a year now and I’ve noticed certain situations where people lack etiquette. Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, but maybe they just don’t know better. Here are some thoughts on ways to make yourself look good when you’re out and about in a bar or restaurant.
Remember what your mother taught you - Thank You never goes out of style. When a server brings something to you-whether it be the drink you ordered or an extra napkin, it never hurts to thank them. Also, remember to request things, not demand them. “Could we get some popcorn?” is a lot more polite than, “We need some popcorn.” The occasional “Please” will score you bonus points.
Patience is key. When you’re the only customer, your server can bring your drinks right away. However, when you’re one customer of fifty and there’s only one bar tender, it may take some time. Be a little gracious. Try to refrain from demanding “Where’s my __?” and/or waving wildly at the server as if they forgot you. Your drinks are coming, really.
15% tip is standard. Servers get paid less than minimum wage. It’s hard to pay rent on $3.00 an hour. This is why we rely on customers to tip. The bonus for you is that we want to make you happy so we get a good tip. Unless service is very poor (and if this is the case, consider talking to a manager), you are expected to tip 15% of your total bill. If you don’t have the money to do so, it’s a good night to stay home. Here’s a bonus-when you’re a regular and a good tipper, you’ll get the star treatment. Feel like getting spoiled the next time you come in? Consider a 20% tip. Usually the difference is only a dollar or two, but the server will remember you.
Don’t fight over the bill. You and your friend both want to pay, so you both hold cash in front of the server. Then the server must try and figure who’s money to take without offending one or both parties. Try this instead: if you really want to pay the bill, pull the server aside when you sit down and ask that he/she give you the check at the end of the night. Or, split it with your friend. Say, “Okay, you pay the bill, I’ll pay the tip.” This way you both save face and the server doesn’t have to worry about offending you.
Last but not least: Don’t hit on the waitress. Being friendly is one thing, saying “You’re so hot” is another. Bonus tip: If you are going to hit on the server, whatever you do, don’t stiff them on the tip.
"Yay"
-Me, on Friday
I had lunch with my mom on Friday, and when she came to the door, she came with a box marked Vanns.com. My camera! I was pretty cheezed. After lunch, I got to playing around with it and over the weekend did some experiments on how to best photograph my jewelry. While I’m still not one-hundred percent thrilled with the results, I’m quite happy with how well the details of the beads come out.
Anyhow, I started taking pictures of necklaces I think I could sell and ended up with forty-five. Neat. I also got to thinking of doing a Necklace of the Week type post. I may change the regularity, but that’s what it’ll start as. My first piece is one I made over Christmas break. I’ve worn it to campus twice and both times received a compliment on it-once from Constance and once from Katherine. It’s one of what I like to think of as my signature necklaces (when I think of what an artiste I am, in my head). I consistently get more compliments on these than most other necklaces I make. The pendant and corresponding beads are made of polymer clay which I hand-mix, meaning no batch is exactly the same. The pendants are hand-formed, and the other beads were rolled with a bead roller. (FIMO clay with silver spacers, blue goldstone, and malachite)
This week, since it’s week one, I’m going to do a bonus pic. This one was one of the first necklaces I made in this style. The gloss comes from my experiment with covering the polymer with embossing powder before I baked it. The polymer beads on this necklace were entirely hand formed/rolled. (Sculpey clay with labradorite and metallic seed beads)
"Delete this blog"
-blogger.com
A while back, I started a "writerly" blog, thinking it'd be my professional type blog. One I could refer people to and say, "Look how well I can talk about writing, there's my vast knowledge." The only problem, I hardly ever updated it. Now I can label. Now anyone who wants to expose themselves to my vast knowledge has it in their power to just click on the "Writing" button and immediately pluck out the relevant posts. Viola!
I have to say, though, I quite liked the blog name "The Greater Conversation." Oh well. Life goes on.
Me: What's your favorite color, Midori?
Midori: [shyly] Pink.
-From earlier this morning. Picking out beads.
About a week ago, Kiera (from the bar) brought over some of her grandmother's "pearl" jewelry for me to refurbish/update. I've been hearing about this jewelry for a while now, and we'd been talking about redoing it for a few months. From what she said about the jewelry, I was expecting genuine pearls, so I was a bit disappointed when they turned out to be glass. Oh well, still interesting stuff. I mean, it’s neat to think I got to dismantle this heirloom stuff that’s older than I am.
Kiera left me with three necklaces and some notes on what to do with them. Basically, we planned to get five necklaces and a bracelet out of them. This morning she picked up most of the finished pieces. I’m still working on two necklaces for her daughter, Midori, but they won’t take long at all. I’m excited at being near to finishing the job-my first major custom project. I feel all professional or something. I’m just sad that I have no pictures to share. Oh well, after I get my camera in the mail, I think I’ll ask her if I can take some pictures.
Other nifty news: Katherine bought one of my polymer necklaces for a friend, Anisa, who liked it so much she’s going to talk to a gal she knows (who is a curator for the local arts center) about including some of my jewelry in an upcoming “Own Your Own” show, which features crafty stuff local folk have made. The show’s in February already, so the spots may all be filled. Then again, there may be some room for me-assuming, of course, that this gal likes my work. Cross your fingers for me.
"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it..."
-The Pointer Sisters
For a while now, I've been contemplating getting a digital camera. I've been looking around a bit, finding some things out - like optical zoom is better than digital zoom. This morning, I ordered a camera from vanns.com.
Hoorah! It should be here in about a week. I'm excited.
Catch-up news. Tonight is my first night of class for the Spring semester. I have a linguistics class which focuses on phonemes and morphemes by way of teaching ESL. It should prove useful, if not exactly fascinating. Of course, Ted Taylor's teaching it, and his enthusiasm for linguistics makes the dry material more interesting. This man is one of those people who's a walking encyclopedia. I'm not kidding. It's impressive how much obscure information he can rattle off. Nice guy, too. Should be a good class.
I'm ready for school, too. Every break I end up hitting a point where the free time catches up to me and I finally say, "Okay, I'm bored." That point was Friday night.
Thursday, Keith and I ventured up to Denver to see the aquarium. It was pretty neat, but no comparison to the one we visited in Virginia. Of course, it only stands to reason that an aquarium which is half a mile from the beach is going to be more impressive than one that's a few thousand miles from the beach. We also hit a bead shop, Bead Haven (www.beadhavendenver.com). Not the biggest bead shop I've seen, but a very dense one. Good semi-precious selection, too. I got some bronzite, which I don't see often. Nifty stuff, goes well with the gold pearls I picked up.
He took Sophmore pictures at the Air Force Academy a while back, here's one of the proofs my mom e-mailed me. I have to say, he looks rather smart in his uniform.
"That's a hell of a Christmas Present."
-Keith, after I told him.
Got a call from my mom last night - bad news. Bear with me just a moment while I set up the relationships:
My brother, Casey, has a friend who he's known since Day Care: Jason, whose dad, Roger, works with my mom.
Casey has another friend whose sister Alisha had a baby with Jason.
My mom called to tell me what Roger told her-the baby died. Alisha fed the baby and put the baby to bed. When she checked on the baby later, the baby was blue. SIDS.
Thus, last night my brother was reunited with people he hasn't seen in a while. He spent the evening with Jason, Alisha, and the family. Mom told me how, when Alisha came to pick Casey up, she walked in, grabbed him, and didn't let go for a good five minutes.
Movie Review: The Man Who Cried. A fitting movie to talk about, given the phone call from last night. It's an artistic film with wonderful music. It skirts WWII while at the same time addressing a lot of its issues - namely racial and religious prejudice. On the DVD "production notes" is a blurb that talks about the film maker's inspiration for the movie - remembering those who lost people they loved. Christina Ricci, Johnny Depp, Cate Blanchett, and John Tuturro star. Highlight: The songs which are always lovely and often haunting.
On a lighter note: I also got in touch with a friend I don't see much. Monday night I got a phone message from my friend Cassie, who I went to middle & high school with and who's now in Ft. Collins at CSU. Yesterday we had lunch, did a bit of shopping, and caught up. It was nice to see her again. Out of all the people I went to high school with, she's one of the few I've kept in touch with. The other three have extenuating circumstances. For instance, one's my brother.
