Kitsch, Trash, and Other Adventures

Ares: “I can't believe you have these mortals convinced that you're this 'Kevin Sorbo' character.”
Hercules: “Some people just aren't ready for the truth.”
-Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

Writers’ Group was yesterday and I ended up having to butt in and referee a few times. See, we now have a couple of people writing historical fiction and a couple of people who are history buffs. Put the two together, and you get tangents of a history lecture kind of nature. Me: “I’ve got to interrupt, guys, we have to keep going.” When there are half a dozen pieces to critique in one meeting, and one person (in a group of thirteen) wants to blather on for fifteen minutes with their comments, it just doesn’t work.

In related news, two of our new members submitted for the first time yesterday. One, our youngest member (18ish?) who’s a bit of a punk (in a good way) turned in a short story. I’m infinitely curious, given his critiques on others’ work, what his own will be like. His’ll be the first piece I critique. The other guy, an Australian, is one who I just don’t care for because he’s rather a bit pompous and tends to neglect doing critiques-he did about half for yesterday’s meeting and fewer for the one or two meetings before that which he attended. So, we’ll see if he gets his ass in gear now that we’re critiquing his stuff. If not, I’m going to have to ask Jayne if we can prevent him submitting. Technically, two non-critiquing months in a row and you can’t submit until you catch-up. I also have no idea what to expect from his writing, though I’m leaning on the side that I won’t be impressed.

Book Review: I, the Divine, by Rabih Alameddine. This one was a great find for an English major. It’s an experiment where the whole novel is a series of “first” chapters. The idea is that the narrator, Sarah, is attempting to write her memoir, but can’t get past figuring out how to start it. The book itself is pretty good. More than that, the experimental quality is wonderful. Like a short-story cycle, there are so many ways to look at how each section works that I can easily see myself writing an essay about the novel or including it in my masters’ thesis. Hey, that’s an idea. I think I might do that, actually.

TV Review: Cleopatra 2525. I love Gina Torres, but no. I watched one and a half episodes and it hurt to much to go any further.

TV Review: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. I remember watching this on TV, and figured I’d revisit it. Right now I just finished episode three of the official series. It’s a bit messy at the beginning thanks to the transition from TV movies to TV series, but I can forgive it. After all, it’s fun kitschy stuff and provides lots of comedy, both intentional and incidental. I mean, come on. Would the real Hercules have taken time out of his journeys to keep his hair so perfectly styled? I think not.

Vertigo

"If wishes was horses, we'd all be eating steak."
-Jayne

Right, so the past two weeks have alternated between being a complete waste & a bit of a nightmare. The one exception being two and a half days of a convention that I rather enjoyed. Here's the short version:

Two days before I left, I found out that the papers for my car didn't go through at the county clerk's office because when I bought the car the guy filling out the paperwork wrote down my wrong middle initial. I had no time to stand in line at the courthouse (with new papers) for a couple hours, as I had to pack, stop the mail, go to work, pay rent, do other last minute errands, etc. So, I left without having gone. This becomes relevant later.

Went to the airport to catch a plane to PA for the convention-flight was delayed, delayed, and canceled. I ended up trapped in O'Hare and spent the night on a row of seats (got maybe two hours bad sleep). I finally arrived at the hotel for the convention, got checked into the wrong room, had to move my stuff. The convention itself I enjoyed. I brought out my most extroverted self and it was all the way until the last hour or two before I got to the state of "Everyone, go home and leave me alone already."

The trip home wasn't bad-it completely lacked an airport overnighter. My guy met me at the airport and it was very, very good to see him. Woke up the next morning, had to throw up. Did that a few more times over the course of the day. (This would be Tuesday we're talking about now) and anymore, being sick enough to vomit brings on my vertigo.

Short digression: Vertigo. I've had it as long as I can remember. I don't mean a sick to the stomach feeling when you're up too high, either. I'm talking about vertigo as an inner ear problem which is defined by unpredictability. To paraphrase the doctor who finally figured out it was vertigo, "The only thing you can really predict about it is that you can't predict it." This means that at random times, with no warning, I tend to wake up one day and have symptoms. They tend to last about five days and the severity varies. Sometimes it's no more than light twinges here and there, once it was so severe that just standing up was enough to knock me over if I didn't grab onto something. So, basically, during this period I become very sensitive to certain things. Again, this tends to vary from one time to the next. Sometimes I'm very sensitive to light (like this most recent one) which means walking from a light room to a dark one, or having a light flashed in my eyes, makes it feel like someone just spun my head (imagine a top-one moment not moving, then someone turns it and away it goes). Sometimes I'm more sensitive to movement-like bending down to put on my shoes, or going from sitting to standing. Two things I make it a rule to avoid during these times are driving (for obvious reasons) and computers (something about the glare from the screen really aggravates).

So, right. The vertigo hit and I've been trapped in my house for four days. Yesterday, I braved it and went to the courthouse, for the sake of my car, in the afternoon when I was feeling pretty good. For some reason it's always worse in the morning than afternoon. I went to the "dealers only" part of the clerk's office because the title officer at the dealership told me to. I sat and waited for half an hour only to be told I had to go "stand in line." Telling the clerk that the gal at the dealership told me to come there instead did absolutely no good. The line was a good hour long and there was no way I would've been able to make it, so I went home very frustrated. My temporary tags expire today (Saturday) and the courthouse is closed, and the writers' meeting is tomorrow. Let's see if I get stopped. Of course, that will only add to my great joy at how the end of this month has been going.

Alright, the bitch-fest is over. I keep reminding myself that the meeting is tomorrow-along with the post-meeting dinner that I always look forward to. Also, this month I'm submitting a chapter of Oracle that I've been planning for months-two main characters get killed. So, I'm kind of excited about that. I just have to make sure I don't die or total my car or something before then. Wish me luck.

Wedding update & movies

Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Ragetti: What? with a long A? Na-na-na-na-no-no no "Krah-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and "Krakken"'s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we?
Ragetti: It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!
-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Jayne, myself and the other bridesmaids, and another gal pal went to see this for the “bachelorette party.” In short-if you liked the first one, go see the second. I laughed, a lot.

Yes, it’s been over a week since my last post. I’ve been a slacker all around though, so it’s not like I’ve been neglecting the blog alone.

First thing-wedding update. The ceremony was nice, short and sweet with only the minor mishap of the keyboard player’s music stand crashing to the ground during Judy’s song. The keyboard player stopped, but Judy handled it wonderfully and just kept on going. The day’s other notable mishap was Sean’s state. The night before the bachelor party hit the bars and all was going well (moderate drinking only) until the last stop on the way home. The bartender was so drunk that a patron was mixing drinks and once other patrons knew Sean was getting married, they bought him drink after drink, including a round of tequila shots sometime after two in the morning. I think during the ceremony he was still mostly drunk and it wasn’t until the reception that the hangover started beating on him. Needless to say, he looked pretty pathetic. The newlyweds left the reception early (in a car covered with heart-shaped sticky notes, by the way) and I’m sure Sean went to bed as soon as they got home.

Now, to catch you up on my Netflix adventures.
Purely by chance, I happened to watch two flicks in a row with Jim Broadbent. He’s a fun actor, and one of those who seems to pop up in random places-he seems to have a preference for the slightly odd-ball which scores points in my book.

Princess Caraboo: Fun for its imaginative quality. Broadbent plays the husband in the couple that takes the girl in.

Rough Magic: Another one that’s fun for its imagination. It’s a bit farce, a bit magical realism, a bit detective drama. Add in Russell Crowe, and voila! A fun flick. In this one, Broadbent is a “doctor” trying to find the secret to a magic tonic who teams up with Crowe and Bridget Fonda in Mexico.

The Sum of Us: Made the same year as Rough Magic and also featuring Crowe (he must have been pretty busy). It’s a bit family drama, a bit comedy, and a bit romance, though seeing Crowe making out with another man is rather unsettling. I love Jack Thompson in this movie, he plays Crowe’s father. The soliloquies are a bit strange, hold-overs from the play, but they weren’t too distracting and there was one or two moments where they were totally wonderful.

Alright, that’s all for now. It’s time for me to go see Mary and work on her neighbor’s house.

Weddings, Weddings, Weddings

Willow: Buffy, it's hideous. Oh my god, Buffy. Look at its arms!
Buffy: I know. But it's my duty. I'm... Buffy the bridesmaid.
Buffy, “Hell’s Bells”

So, the Jayne & Sean wedding is tomorrow. Coincidentally, another member of the university English majors is having her big day tomorrow. Kathy, the professor I’m working for on campus is a bridesmaid in the second wedding. Jayne = laid back bride. Other gal = Bridezilla. I just got a whole tirade on the other gal and damn, I’m impressed. Let me a brief comparison.

Jayne’s wedding requirements
Dress: $75.00
Shoes: Whatever (Borrowed from my mom)
Hair: Whatever
Rehearsal: Followed by Pirates of the Caribbean viewing (Tickets courtesy of the maid of honor)
Total Bridesmaid cost: $145, including gifts and a necklace I made for Jayne.

Bridezilla’s wedding requirements
Dress: $400.00 strapless (“Like I have anything to hold up a strapless dress!”)
Shoes: Silver stiletto sandals (“I can’t even walk”)
Hair: Bouffant (“I told her to kiss my ass”)
Rehearsal: Dressed up dress rehearsal (Me: what’s the point of that? Kathy: Don’t even get me started)
Total Bridesmaid cost: Roughly $1,000 and I don’t know if that includes a gift.

All I can say is damn.

My guy and I have talked about getting married and about how exactly that’s going to work. Our plan is to go to the courthouse with the fewest number of people possible, probably just our parents and siblings. After we sign the paper, we go home and have friends over for a BBQ. Neither of us wants the boredom of a formal ceremony nor the stress of a formal to-do. This plan means we still get to hang out with friends and family, but we don’t have to stress about all the typical details like flower arrangements, catering, what I’m going to wear, etc.

Let’s face it folks, the wedding is one day. The important part is what comes after, right? The marriage part that lasts, in theory, the rest of your life.

Business Grammar

"No Shoe's
No Service"
Laundromat Sign

I did laundry today and was reminded, again, of what a snob I am. The English major in me has a hard time going to businesses that have mispelled or grammatically incorrect signs. However, this laundromat is the closest and I'm too lazy to be that ethical/snobbish.

Movie Review: The Omen. My guy and I were out and about the other day and stopped by the theater to watch this remake. I never saw the original, so I have no idea how it compares. The best part of this movie was the parts that make you jump. I'm no horror buff, but when something makes my guy jump too, I know it's caught people off guard. The timing for sudden attacks and that sort of thing was excellent. Otherwise, there seemed to be a lot of elements in the movie that just didn't make sense. Maybe the original did a better job of answering quesitons like, "What's the story with the priest's birthmark?"

Slacking

"Uh, I need a pitcher of Bud Light."
Drunk Guy (fifteen minutes after I ordered a pitcher for him and he disappeared before I could deliver it)

This week was the first of having my 2,500 words a week goal. My grand total: 830 or so. Great start, eh? My problem is not knowing where to start the chapter I'm working on right now. I'm thinking I should just skip ahead in the chapter to the part where I know what I want to do. I can always go back and change/fix the beginning once I get a clearer picture of exactly what is going to happen in the rest.

Book Review: Sweetness in the Belly, by Camilla Gibb. The main character, Lilly, is the child of English parents who spent the end of their lives wandering the world. When they die, she is raised by a Muslim religious leader in Ethiopia. The book exists in two parts-one in Ethiopia, one later in London. Going back and forth between the two is interesting and the structure works pretty well. The writing is good and the cultural deatails are excellent. Overall, a good read, but not spectacular.

Book Review: Human, Smithsonian. Every now and again I find something nifty at the library, like this book. It's got gorgeous illustrations and more information that anyone can possibly absorb in one sitting. The book has great anthropological info on an impressively large number of peoples, my main reason for checking it out. Also, there's a lot of talk about biology, evolution, and the future of the world. I love the pictures, like the information, and was only a little disappointed at things the book does not address-such as female circumcision in the section on rites of passage.

Movie Review: The Man Without a Face. I was pleasantly surprised with this one. The gist of the story is that Justine McLeoud (Mel Gibson), a man with a burn damaged face, tutors and befriends the young Chuck Nordstadt (Nick Stahl) who's trying to pass an exam that will get him into a military academy and away from his estrogen riddled home. When I read the blurb on Netflix, I expected the bonding between the two, but not the sinister turn toward the end nor the humor.

McLeod: The problem is one of water.
Chuck Norstadt: Water?
McLeod: Water. Women have, on average, about 5% more of it than do men, making them subject to different forces of gravity. Oh don't take my word for it, you can look it up in Newton. It's there.
Chuck Norstadt: Couldn't they be drained? [McLeod laughs]
Chuck Norstadt: I'm serious!
McLeod: Well, I believe they're waiting for us to drink more fluids.