The Stress Factor

Sooner or later, something is going to go wrong. Whether that something is small scale or grandiose, snags happen.

This weekend was an interesting case study. Between the bar on Friday and the writing marathon Saturday (which had a snag with the meeting place), I've been watching a number of people respond to stress. We all like to talk about the most telling things about people - how they treat their server, for one - and I want to comment on another telling thing about a given person: how they respond to a problem.

I talk about having a lot of respect and appreciation for my coworkers at the bar, and I chalk a lot of that to the fact that working in a bar is, among other things, responding to a series of problems. Every single night, at least one thing goes wrong. Many nights there's at least one person who's got a problem with something, and it's the staff's job to solve the problem: stress.

So, we have certain reactions from people who deal with problems. For the most part, I see three.
Confusion/helplessness: "I don't know what's going on!"
Negativity/blame: "I don't like problems, and I don't think I should have to deal with them. This is your fault."
Positivity/proactivity: "Okay, so how do I/we fix it?"

Writing marathon = snag = stress = variety of reactions. While part of me is responding to these concerns/comments, another part of me is keeping quiet. The quiet part is the one that wants to look at people (not just in this case, but in all similar cases) and say something to the effect of:

Okay, my friend. I hear your problem, but what did you do to try and solve it? Nothing? Why, how did you get so helpless?

or

I'm sorry this upset you, but realize that I am not the enemy. There's no need to hate me, I'm doing my best to help you.

And then, to all those who have that third reaction, I really want to hug you. Thank you so much for looking at problems through the lense of problem-solving, you rock.

Okay, no more soapbox now. Just keep in mind, the next time a situation upsets you, that while you cannot always control the situation happening around/to you, you can control your response to it. Be proactive, my friend. It just works better that way.