Gag Has a Cousin

His name is the Dancing Imp.

The Ever-Growing Bead Cart/How Much Tourmaline Does One Gal Need?

"Your cart: 64 Items, 98 Units"
-Firemountain Gems Website

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been returning time and again to the Firemountain Gems website to refine my shopping cart. This means I keep adding stuff. Right now, the total price on all I wish I could get is just under $275. It's all great stuff, and I know I'd use and love all the wonderful beads, findings, and misc. However, I'm not ready to dish out nearly three hundred dollars on one order of beads. Especially since, at the beginning of the month, I decided I'd been spending too much money on beads lately and it was my goal to go through June without any new bead purchases. Ha! It's all Rebecca's fault.

Adding to the problem is the new catalog the company sent me for signing up on their website. After perusing it for a while, I found a handful of nifty things I'd missed on the website (the two are organized differently, after all) and just took a bit of time to add most of them to my cart.

Now comes the really tough part - narrowing it down. This part is even tougher because of all the great deals, I mean, come on only $2.26 for a 16" strand of faceted fancy jasper beads, or $1.85 for a 36" strand of flourite chips, how can I pass those up? *Sigh* Still, something must be done. So, I've printed out my cart on paper and pulled out my pen. Time to go through the list and think about what I have to have vs. what I just really want.

Primitive "Jade"

I still haven't decided how much I like this one. The polymer was an experiment with opalescent powder and translucent clay + a bit of green and blue. Constance thought it looked like jade, and I'm stealing her description. I like the shapes, but I'm not sure yet about the color. Kinda depends on what mood I'm in. The disc beads are aventurine.

Sometimes, Working at a Bar is Funny

Like, when I walk over to check on a table at just the right time to walk into this conversation between one of our regulars and two middle-aged gals:
"Donny, you're such a man-whore. (turns to me) Isn't he?"
-Gal

Poor guy, he was out-numbered. However, I could honestly say that I haven't noticed him to be particularly whorish. Mostly I see him alone or talking with either Julia or K.C. the doorguy. Not all that slutty. I have to add, though, that his two gal pals seemed quite keen on the idea anyway. A bit of vicarious living, perhaps?

Being Engaged

"What about the ring?"
-Question asked by different people when I told them I was engaged

In some ways, I'm very different from my mom and in some I'm very much alike. Case in point: engagement rings. My mom has an opal "engagement" ring which she got a few years after she and my dad were married. She wears it on special ocassions. When my folks were first engaged, she said she didn't want one - she preferred to put that money towards something else, like their honeymoon.

I have no engagement ring, and people have tended to think it's weird. Julia suggested I go get an inexpensive cubic zirconia ring so I'd have something, and I thought about it - especially at the times when random drunk guys showed how they thought I work at a bar because I'm looking to meet men. Ultimately, though, I've decided it's not worth the trouble. I don't wear rings much, and I figure after October an engagement ring'd be a moot point anyway. I do plan to wear a wedding band (Keith and I are thinking maybe stainless steel or such).

It's funny, the closer this wedding gets, the more untraditional I want it to be. I'm the one getting married, I want to call the shots. The good news is, so far no one is having any problems with that. All my folks said was, "Just let us know what you want us to do," and my mom even said, "This is your wedding, I want you to do it how you want. I didn't get to."

In related news, I just found this article: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870

New Moon's Arms

"I don't know; maybe this was on the sand already, and something else fell on my head." Bare Bear winked her one glass eye at me. So long I hadn't seen her. "A leaf from out a sea grape tree, something like that. Right, Bare Bear?" I hugged Lucky Bare Bear to my chest. I grinned at Hector. "She get small over the years, or I get big." She still fit in her old place, up against my breastbone.


Book Review: The New Moon’s Arms, by Nalo Hopkinson. Of all the novels I’ve read, this one falls much closer to the bottom of the list than the top. I'd call it mediocre, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, the idea is neat and swimming in myth (pun intended). I dig her whole take on selkies, and the way she integrates Caribbean folklore. However, I don’t dig the way she brings up characters and/or plot elements and continually lets them fall by. I just now realize that she was probably trying to cram too much into one novel. Either that or, as she was writing, she forgot what she’d already written and forgot about the various things she brought up earlier but never did anything/much with. The weird thing is, she’s an award-winning writer, and this is her fourth novel. Oi. Well, more power to her, I guess. This book wasn’t quite bad enough to set aside, but I’ve definitely seen better storytelling. I wonder if she was getting lazy by the time she got to this one.

Bead Binge

"We order together and always end up getting the maximum discount."
-Rebecca

So, it turns out that Rebecca and her friends are getting ready to do another bead order through Firemountain Gems and I'm invited to go in on it. I've been perusing the website and adding oodles of stuff to my cart. Right now I'm up to a total of 80 things in my cart, though a lot of that is doubles (or, in the case of some silver spacers, 15Xs) of things. I'm getting lots of semi-precious stones, like three different shapes of tourmaline; lots of metal beads, which are great with anything; a generous handful of mother-of-pearl and freshwater pearls; and a smattering of glass beads; along with a bit of miscellany like extra bead wire. The most exciting single items: gorgeous blue coin pearls and two Buddha pendants, one of which is labradorite.

I'm so excited to get all my stuff, even though part of me is appalled at how much I'll be getting (not to mention spending). Then again, the discount will be awesome and I'm averaging out to spending only about $2.00 on any given thing, which is dirt cheap. Now, I just have to wait a couple more weeks until Rebecca's friend is ready to put in the order, and then wait for it to get here... Dang it. I want my beads now.

Orange Chips

These beads are one of the weirdest things I've seen lately. They're shaped like gemstone chips, but they're actually glass. Strange. I added a few seed beads and put together a simple necklace. One which goes quite well with my orange shirt today.

Bye to David

I don't want to write the post twice, so here's a link:
http://dwtdwende.blogspot.com/

Everyone's feeling bummed around campus right now.

SI 2007

"My name is Ali, I'm a grad student here on campus, and I'll be making all your copies."
-Me introducing myself yesterday

This year's Summer Institute has officially begun. We have fifteen participants, including a gal named Olga who came over all the way from Russia, which I think is pretty nifty.

Today is day two of the SI and I've already burned through about 3,000 copies, thanks to all the various documents that everyone needs and handouts for demonstrations, and assigned readings. Whoo-boy, we're smokin' now.

On a nifty note, it's been decided that this year's SI will end with a writing marathon, instead of a visitor's day. Katherine invited me to participate and I'm looking forward to it. WMs are fun and there'll be free food. It's a win-win. Right now I've been on and off the phone with folks at Angelo's Pizza Parlor and Cafe Zajj scheduling room reservations and food. At the Cafe, we're going to get to binge on pastries and desert crepes, mmm... I can't wait for the SI to be over!

Smudge-Pies

Here is how you make smudge-pies, which are not like s'mores at all :)

Step One: Butter two pieces of bread.

Step Two: Lay the first, butter side down, on one half of the smudge-pie maker. Add a dollop of canned pie filling (apple, in this picture).

Step Three: Add the other piece of bread and put the smudge-pie maker together.

Step Four: Cook over the fire. (Demonstrated here by Kelsey)Step Five: Eat.

Uneven Polymer

My favorite thing about this necklace is how the dark blue and gold play off each other. The polymer was made using an uneven jellyroll cane, where I crumpled the sheets as I rolled them. The effect isn't incredibly pronounced, though. The other beads are brass spacers, metallic seed beads, and freshwater pearls.

The New David

The committee has conferred and made a decision. David's replacement will be the poet Juan Morales. Cheers.

English Major Camping Trip

"Simon just called me. The original campsite is full, but they found another one a few miles up the road. So follow the original directions, but instead of Forest Road 231, you now need to take Forest Road 240. The camp is 4 or 5 miles up that road. Look for a sign (I think) that says Angel of Shibano (or something like that). Please call Simon at ###-#### if you get confused."
-Email from Shane

A couple of years ago, a big chunk of our close-knit English major group graduated. As a way of having a last get-together before everyone scattered, Simon, Lydia and James came up with the idea to go camping. This weekend will be the third annual EMCT. The best part is how most of my Englishy friends have very limited camping experience. On the first trip I became famous as the outdoorsy gal. It was funny.

Actually, with Dorothy there, it was hilarious. Dorothy brought rubber gloves with her to the great outdoors and had James pour water bottles over her head so she could wash her hair. We were up at San Isabel, i.e. no facilites. One of the nights, I walked with Dorothy to the "bathroom" because she was nervous to go by herself. On the way we heard random animal noises and she was a little freaked out, thinking the mountain lions and bears were right beside us. "No, Dorothy, I'm sure it's just a chipmunk." Like I said, hilarious.

So, on Sunday, Mishell and I are going to load up my car and head up to meet everyone at the campgrounds and spend the night. It'll be fun. I just have to remember to borrow the smudge pie makers from my parents. Mmm... smudge pies.

Ben Is For Beneficial

“I just wanna make sure you’re happy, okay? If you’re not happy, I want you to tell me. How much would make you happy? What’s your name again?”
-Ben

Dealing with drunks is part of working at a bar. Ditto that for dealing with crazy drunks. So, on Saturday, I wasn’t all that surprised that we had one. The far more surprising thing was that he, apparently, had way too much money and wanted to share it. Now, hearing someone blather on about how they’re going to “take care of you” isn’t that uncommon. Having them actually do it, is. Having them “take care of you” and then some, is, extremely rare. Ben wanted Dave and I to be happy. I think he also wanted us to like him.

So, when Ben and his two friends came downstairs on Saturday night, he gave Dave a twenty, asked for five in quarters, and told him to keep the rest. When Dave brought over a few free shots as a thank-you, he handed Dave a ten dollar bill. He was very emphatic about us making sure he and his friends weren’t “fucked with.” This was monstrously easy to do since the bar was dead and we barely had ten people downstairs throughout the whole course of the night.

Ben quickly ran out of cash. I ran his credit card three times, each of which I had to physically place the card into his hand for fear he’d forget it. Each of which I also filled in the tip and the total and he signed it without looking at the numbers. He was adamant about spending money. When I was running the second slip, and he was going on again about how his name is Ben and he wants to make sure I’m happy, I mentioned it was my birthday. He tells me to add another twenty dollars to my tip. Thanks man. So I put a thirty dollar tip on a $13.50 round of drinks.

As the night progresses, he ends up tipping me $50 on the credit cards. He keeps saying that he won’t be happy unless Dave and I both go home with $100 (which means we’ll be happy). Okay, I have no problem with that. So, at the end of the night, when he and his pals say “no more, we’re headed home” he wanders over to the bar for one more round of shots (two for him, two for Dave, and one for me that I never drink because he’s already bought me about four and I only drank those ‘cause it was my birthday and I felt like “what the hell?”) I hand him the credit card slip, $22.50. He asks me how much he should put for a tip, what would make me happy.

- Now, let me tell you that this guy has been demanding, not in a mean way, but in a “You know, I’ve got another table wanting drinks, let me bring those over before you make me take another shot” kind of way. He’s also been ranting on and on about how he makes way too much money. I made ten dollars the night before. It’s my birthday. And, he wants me and Dave to be happy. So, this is what I said:

“Well, you said you want me and Dave to go home with a hundred dollars each tonight, and right now we’re both up to about fifty. You wanna do a hundred, fifty for me and fifty for him?”

Ben said, “Alright, let’s do it.”

I filled out the slip, he signed it, and I handed Dave two twenties and a ten. We all went home happy. As for me, I’m kinda proud of myself. Normally, I wouldn’t have the balls to do something like that. However, on this particular night, I figured I had nothing to lose – especially given our benefactor’s lack of any kind of short term memory. Thus, by going with my impulse, I made Dave and I fifty dollars each in the course of ten seconds. Not bad for a night’s work. The best part, is that since I only had a few other customers, since most of Ben’s payments and tips were via credit card, and since I only start out each night with fifty dollars cash, by the end of the night, the bar ended up owing me money when I closed out my bank. Not bad for working on my birthday, eh?

P.S. This is the kind of thing that never happens. Don't start thinking this is in any way typical. What usually happens is people come in, talk big, and leave a lousy tip or stiff me on it.

Deb's Blog

"The pressure is on. A first post on the new blog. Should I be sincere? Funny? Informative?

'The First' is always special and unforgettable, right? Not always. Sometimes The First is painful, embarrassing or messy."
-Deb

So begins my friend Deb's new blog about her first novel and being an editor at Apollo's Lyre. Extra bonus: she's also a great big fan of Great Big Sea.

http://theyremakingmeblog.blogspot.com/

Simply Purple

This set is about as simple as it gets, purple glass beads with silver bugles (or just chain, for the earrings). This pair of earrings is one of my favorites, I really like using chain to create dangles because it really highlights the beads and keeps the earrings fairly light weight where same-sized drop with a line of beads wouldn't.

Took a Walk the Other Day

Oh digital camera, how I love thee. The other day it was nice and spring-like, so I went on down and took a walk by the river. I came home with about seventy pictures. Pictures are fun. So is picture editing software.

Wyatt

Movie Review: Wyatt Earp. After watching, and thoroughly enjoying, Tombstone, I thought I'd check out the competition. Tombstone came out way ahead. Wyatt Earp meanders through his whole damn life and makes sure to leave nothing out, for better or worse - I'd argue the latter. Where Tombstone benefits from taking liberties with facts to create a more compelling movie, Wyatt Earp loses sight of the story and gets bogged down in history.

I Wanna Be a Cowboy