"What about the ring?"
-Question asked by different people when I told them I was engaged
In some ways, I'm very different from my mom and in some I'm very much alike. Case in point: engagement rings. My mom has an opal "engagement" ring which she got a few years after she and my dad were married. She wears it on special ocassions. When my folks were first engaged, she said she didn't want one - she preferred to put that money towards something else, like their honeymoon.
I have no engagement ring, and people have tended to think it's weird. Julia suggested I go get an inexpensive cubic zirconia ring so I'd have something, and I thought about it - especially at the times when random drunk guys showed how they thought I work at a bar because I'm looking to meet men. Ultimately, though, I've decided it's not worth the trouble. I don't wear rings much, and I figure after October an engagement ring'd be a moot point anyway. I do plan to wear a wedding band (Keith and I are thinking maybe stainless steel or such).
It's funny, the closer this wedding gets, the more untraditional I want it to be. I'm the one getting married, I want to call the shots. The good news is, so far no one is having any problems with that. All my folks said was, "Just let us know what you want us to do," and my mom even said, "This is your wedding, I want you to do it how you want. I didn't get to."
In related news, I just found this article: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Being Engaged
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4 comments:
Ali,
I'm with you. Do what works for the two of you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
Great article. I always wondered why the woman had to be marked as engaged (until fairly recently, she was the only one with a wedding ring, too) while the man was never identified. It's the same thing with Miss and Mrs. A woman's status increased when she married.
Oh, look, you got me on my soapbox.
I just say congratulations and good luck and keep doing things your own way.
Thanks Deb. It's keeps striking me as funny, going through this getting married thing, what is considered "normal," and how much of that I'm skipping.
Well, sorta. Marriage is a big deal for me, beyond the legal. Mostly, I'm in it for the all-or-nothing. I know there are plenty of people who are happy not being married (whether living with their significant other or not). However, I don't see myself being happy without that last step being the goal.
Good on ya, Ali. I think you're right to do it the way you want to.
And I'm with Deb on that soapbox, couldn't have said it better my-own-self.
Jenny
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