Babies, Babies Everywhere

To start off this post, some cool news from bartender John - he and his wife are going to have a baby. They recently started trying and just found out last night that they'll be parents in about nine months. Tonight when it was dead I pulled out the phonebook and started a potential baby names list. He's looking for names with an "X" in them, so if y'all got recommendations... We've covered Xander, Roxanne, Max, Xavier, Felix, Xerxes, Rex, Jaxon, and Exxon (thank goodness John's wife has a say in the child's name, is all I've got to say).

Also while it was slow we got to watch as a guy put his coat on a chair at one of the tables so he could stand at the bar. Since it was slow, I let it be and watched him to see how long he'd leave it there. After about twenty minutes, he walked over to the chair, got something out of his coat pocket, then left the coat and went back to standing at the bar. He finally took it off the chair when he was ready to leave (another twenty minutes or so later). Now, I didn't know this, but apparently he owns the whole place. I have to admit, I was hoping it'd get busy so I could grab his coat and hang it on the coat rack without telling him. Then he could play the where's-my-coat? game, and I could watch. The arrogance of some people never ceases to amaze me.

Tonight was also my first night working with our newest hire, Laura. Thank George, she's not a flake. Unfortunately, she ended up with a horrible table. A couple comes in, sits down, and proceeds to argue with each other for two hours. At one point, the woman's in tears. They don't argue loudly, but they don't stop either. Since they're both upset, and since they decided to go to the bar to have their argument, Laura gets hit with a backwash of bad mood every time she goes over to do her job. It's been a while since I've been so boggled by people's behavior. What logic follows that when you want to argue with your significant other you should go out in public to do so? What gives? It took Laura about five seconds to dub them "The Bickersons."

I know it's too much to ask that people read the menu, but really, this was silly...
Me: Do you know what you'd like?
Guy: I'd like the beef & cheese sandwich.
Me: And what would you like for your side?
Guy: Oh, what do I get?
Me: You can have a salad, pickle and chips, potato wedges, coleslaw, or seasoned fries.
Guy: Um, do you just have some fries?
Me: You mean, like potato wedges or seasoned fries?

Then I got a table which included this woman who's quasi-regular and one who oozes a general "I'm not happy and you can't do anything to change that" vibe.
Me: Here's your popcorn, guys. But just so you know, that's the last of it.
Unhappy woman: Well, pop some more.
Me: Yeah, I would, but we're have no more popcorn to pop.
-'Cause obviously the only reason I'd say we're out is because I'm too lazy to make more.

One of our regulars came in with his not-regular wife. A while back he mentioned they were expecting, and Julia sent me on a mission.
Julia: Did she bring the baby with her, or is she still pregnant?
I went off to the table to take their drink order, and do some covert investigating.
Me: Okay, she's wearing a baggy sweatshirt and she's got stuff in the pockets, so I can't tell if it's just stuff in her pockets or her belly sticking out. But, she did order a cherry Coke.
A bit later, they stopped by to chat with Julia and we found out definitively that the baby is still in utero. No mini bar-regular yet.

Laura: Hey, when did John leave?
Me: A while ago. He called me and Alex bastards, then he left.
Laura: Yeah, that sounds about right.
-Should I be offended there? By "about right" did she mean that it sounded like something John would say, or did she mean that I'm a bastard?

Me: Howdy.
Donny: Hey.
Me: How's it going?
Donny: Well, I've been at the hospital for a couple days.
Me: Uh oh, what happened?
Donny: Wanna hear a funny joke? I'm an uncle. My sister just had a baby.

Apparently now is the time to have offspring. I don't know if it's just that I'm at the right age for my friends to all be doing the settle down and start a family thing, or what, but it seems everywhere I turn there's pregnant women and babies. So fear not, my friends, the human population is well assured of continuing for at least a little while longer.