Braintrust They Are Not

This week was erratic. Dead slow Wednesday, bust-my-butt happy hour Friday, then back to nadda Saturday. It's always got to be crazy or dead, doesn't it? So little of the in-between.

Chris & Marianne: J, you should come to the party. There'll be hot women there.
Dave: What'll it be?
J: Something hot, like a woman.

Gal: I'd like an order of the artichoke dip.
Me: What kind of bread would you like with that?
Gal: What does it come with?
Me: You have your choice of white, whole grain, or foccacia.
Gal: Yeah, but what does it usually come with?

Guy: I'd like a martini.
Me: Gin or Vodka?
Guy: Um... Vodka.
Me: Which brand would you like?
Guy: Just give me your house.
I bring the table their drinks, then stop by a couple minutes later.
Me: How're you guys doing?
Guy: I need some water. This martini is really strong.
Me: That's because it's a martini.

Guy: Where's the karaoke?
Me: Somewhere else.

Now, for a longish story about people who don't know what they're drinking...
Guy: We want a couple of grasshoppers, I think. It's made with Crown, Apple Pucker, and something...
Me: Hrm, that wouldn't be a grasshopper then. Is it a Washington Apple?
Guy: No, that's not it.
Me: Can you remember the third ingredient?
Guy: No.
Me: Right. Let me check with the bartender.
-I head for Julia.
Me: Okay, these idiots want a couple drinks, except they don't know what it's called and they don't know what goes in it either.
Julia: Great.
-She pulls up the webtender site and we can't find squat that sounds like what this guy wants. There's nothing called a grasshopper that has either of his ingredients in it, and he was emphatic that it's not a Washington Apple.
Me: Is there anything for a Sour Apple?
-She types it in, and sure enough, up comes a couple of recipes with Crown. Julia looks them over for a second.
Julia: Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give 'em Crown, Midori, Apple Pucker, and a bit of Sweet & Sour. (Which is a combination of the recipes listed)
-She whips up a couple, I drop it off to the guys. The guys have a taste.
Guys: This is it!
-Which, of course, I'm just thrilled about. Mostly, I'm entertained that this is exactly what they had before, even though it was a recipe Julia literally made up on the spot. Not the brightest, these two.

One of the highlights of the weekend experience was last night around nine when I had a couple of wads of paper to throw at John 'cause I was bored. I was aiming, then I had a thought. I went over to two of our regulars hanging out at the end of the bar, put a wad of paper in front of each of them, and said, "Hey, throw these at John." Without hesitation, they did.