Things You Should Know About Me: Part Two, Our Relationship

I work here.
While you, my friend, have come to the bar to unwind after a day of work, have a date, meet friends, or partake of our fantastic popcorn, I have come to the bar to earn money to pay my bills. Your first priority is to have a good time. My first priority is to buy groceries.

I work for tips.
Colorado's minimum wage is $6.85 an hour. As a tipped employee, my bosses are allowed to pay me less than minimum wage. This means my hourly wage is just over half of the minimum. This also means that my hourly wage alone is not enough to support me. When you visit my bar, I rely on those dollars you leave me to pay my bills, buy my groceries, and ensure I have a place to live. For those of you who don't "believe" in tipping, please take a moment to compare your hourly wage to mine. If you still don't believe in tipping, ask yourself why you do believe in eating out.

I've also heard people comment about their ability to afford tipping. I'm a full-time student who supports herself financially with no help from roommates or family. I understand the meaning of broke. That said, if you can't afford a tip, you can't afford eating out. Stay home, cook some pasta, save the money.

I don't come here to meet people.
You're here to socialize. Fine. I'm not. It's all about paying bills for me, remember? If you are one of my customers, part of my job is to be personable with you. I'll make small talk, smile, ask how you're doing, but I'm not here to be your best friend. If you are not one of my customers, sorry but you're largely irrelevant to me. I mean no insult here, honestly. I only mean that I get nothing out of neglecting my customers to talk to you. You're not tipping me, and I have enough friends already. In fact, I'm thinking about cutting back. So, when you're sitting at the bar, don't be offended if I ignore you. You're just not my priority.

I'm not your sweetheart, babe, or hon.
Our relationship is not an intimate one. As a result, I would greatly prefer that you do not address me by pet names. The list of people who address me by pet names is a remarkably short one and even those who are on it, like my parents and brother, usually don't call me more than my name. Chances are, you don't know my name. However, I answer to "miss" or "ma'am" and, my favorite "excuse me." I know that last isn't technically a form of address, but it'll get my attention.

I'm not going to date you.
If you're here to find a date, I wish you the best of luck. The fact that I am female and unable to leave until my shift is over does not translate into an interest in you. I'm sure you're a great guy who'd treat me fantastically well. The thing is, we have nothing in common other than the bar, and even there our priorities are different. We don't even have booze in common because, as I've mentioned, I'm not much of a drinker. Also not helping your case is the fact that I'm sober and you probably aren't. You're not in your best state to impress me anyway. Have faith. If you and I are meant to be, we'll run into each other somewhere outside of the bar where you'll be sober and charming and we'll hit it off then.

I don't like to be touched.
I especially don't like to be touched by strangers, which is, let's face it, what you are to me. Please remember that when you put your hands on me, you are invading my personal space. While I can understand a tap on the shoulder, anything beyond that is inappropriate. Remember the nature of our relationship. We don't know each other that well. When's the last time you put an arm around your bank teller?

I make exceptions for regulars.
We have some lovely, if lonely, people who spend a great deal of time at the bar. I'm on a first name basis with these folks. In one case, I went to their wedding. Even if they're at the bar, if I have time I'll probably chat with them for a bit. These are people I'm more likely to do a favor for/spend time with. One or two of them even get to call me pet names. I've known many of them for over two years, they've earned it.

Not all regulars are created equal, and there are a couple I'd like to never see again, but the idea is the same - these are people I actually know, vs. new patrons/strangers.