Feeling Better

"You're great."
-Katherine

Yesterday, when Katherine broke the news, she added that she wanted to talk to me about it, but then she was in a meeting. This morning, though, we had a chance. She said encouraging things, like "you were a strong competitor" and how they (the comittee) talked about things they saw as my strengths, etc. The long and short of it being that they had a dozen people applying for two positions and six who were all strong candidates. She also sounded really relieved when I said that I understand, "thank you for being so mature about this."

Really, it's just like publishing, right? Sometimes the editor says yes, more often they say no, and just because they say no, it doesn't mean they wouldn't have said yes at another time. So, yes, I'm bummed out that I didn't get it. However, I understand that doesn't mean I don't deserve it (if that makes sense), especially after my talk with Katherine about how wonderful I am. She also made a point of mentioning how another gal who's a T.A. now had to apply twice, and that when she herself was a grad student she was tenth on the waiting list for a T.A. at her alma matter. Perspective, yeah?

Mostly, it seems, the thing working against me was my reserve. No, I don't like to always jump in when other people are talking. I'd much rather ask a question than make a point, etc. Which isn't to say that I can't, but it is to say that they were looking for someone they've seen to be more outspoken. At least, that's what I'm getting from the comments Katherine made. The most encouraging thing, is that she seems invested in getting me to be a T.A. and talked about working on making me a stronger candidate over the fall and such so that the next time I apply, I get it. It's nice to have her backing me on this, even if this go 'round it didn't work out.

Also helping my good mood: last night I discovered that the Research Methods class I have to take in the fall will not, after all, be taught by the professor I can't stand who I had in the fall. He's moving to Georgia. Hoorah for me! I don't have to have Dr. Moron again.