The Dinner Auction

Last night, just as we do once every other month after the writers group meeting, a bunch of us went out to the chain restaurant near our meeting spot for dinner and chatting. This is always an interesting experience. On one hand, I know we're a big group and therefore a pain in the ass, but I've handled big groups at the bar, and there is a way to do it and keep things straight.

However, thanks to the relative inexperience of most of the servers we get (I think they pass us off on whoever is newest as a hazing ritual) there is usually no keeping things straight. Usually, when the drinks and the food come, instead of the server matching customer to drink/entree, we do the auction game.

Server: Who had a coke? Ice tea? Chocolate shake? Another coke?

It's exciting. You watch to see what she'll grab next. Is that my chicken wrap? Oh boy, I think it is. You raise your hand to place your bid, and if you're lucky, the server notices before walking over to the other side of the table to check there first.

Last night the gal we had played the auction game to the point of silliness. She couldn't remember what anyone had, not anyone at all. It was impressive. Granted, I give as much blame to some of my co-diners who weren't all paying attention as the gal called out, "Coke, who had a coke?" However, the part that entertains me the most is that, when it came time to hand around the checks, she matched everyone up just fine. Well, until a couple of people gave her credit cards and she handed the wrong ones back.

Now, at the bar I don't technically use the pivot system, since the pivot system means starting with a specific seat. Instead, I pick someone for some reason (like the little old lady sitting with the group of younger folk) and go around the table from there. I also love my notepad because I can take another look at it if I get mixed up. The vast majority of the time, I can match people with their drinks or food, even when there's a group of fifteen or more. It's all about having a system.

So, I can't help but wonder why we so often do the auction. Is it simply the inexperience of the server who gets stuck with us? Or is it that this particular chain does a poor job of training said newbie? Hard to say. Of course, I have a certain amount of pity on the poor soul saddled with the ten of us and I often add an extra dollar or two to my tip on these nights. I just keep feeling like I should pull our server aside, borrow their apron, and say, "Here, let me help you."