I bought the scary beads out of an impulse to try something different. The first time I showed them to my brother, he actually cringed (thus the name). I quite like the scary beads, though. Anyhow, here's another example of variations on a theme, though in this case it's more like variations on a bead. Aside from the scary beads, the first necklace has copper-tone spacers, glass, and seed beads. The other two have the same, except silver spacers instead of copper.but!
I have to be very clear that Owen is okay with this arrangement. My son still retains the biggest crush on you. (I know that the unadorned love of a five year old whose love can be bought with the cheapest of plastic toys is not really what you're looking for...but as a mother I have to make his case for him....)
And I love you too.
"This morning if someone had asked if you're gone
I would've managed a smile and said we're still hanging on
But if they pressed me I could've honestly said I don't know
Oh but that was a phone call and a six pack ago"
-"A Sixpack Ago" by Steve Wariner
I'm a mess today. The shock has worn off and the impact of what happened is really starting to hit me. This time yesterday, I had a fiancee and a plan of how the rest of my life would go. Today, I've lost both.
There's a chance he might call, try to work things out, but it's not likely. He said he'd made up his mind and that his doubts were strong enough to make him go and never come back. So, now I have to make peace with that. Somehow.
You know how they have these video clips of glaciers where all of a sudden a huge sheet of ice drops off the face of it and crashes into the water? Yeah, it's like that.
I sure as hell didn't. Well, ladies and gents, come October Keith and I will not be getting married. This is because, as of about an hour ago, we have broken up. I'm taking it kinda hard. The worst part is, there isn't even a specific thing I can point to and say "that's why." The past few weeks we've been a bit distant from each other (I said wedding stress, he didn't agree and we got no further than that) and Keith said that was a big enough reason to think it won't work out. There's more to it than that, there always is, but that's as much as I'm ready to say about it right now. I'm feeling blindsided and I'm probably in shock.
So now, after nearly four years of automatically assuming I'll see or talk to Keith the next day, I won't.
"Alright, I think it's done."
-My Email to Katherine
It's hard to believe, but I think the 2005-2006 SI anthology is ready to be sent to the printer. This anthology, which I've been editing, transcribing, re-transcribing, editing again, formatting, and compiling for what seems my whole life, may be finally ready to send off. Whew. Now I just have to hope the computer doesn't crash and wipe everything all of a sudden, again. *Crosses fingers, toes, and eyes*
"Your cart: 64 Items, 98 Units"
-Firemountain Gems Website
Over the past couple of weeks, I've been returning time and again to the Firemountain Gems website to refine my shopping cart. This means I keep adding stuff. Right now, the total price on all I wish I could get is just under $275. It's all great stuff, and I know I'd use and love all the wonderful beads, findings, and misc. However, I'm not ready to dish out nearly three hundred dollars on one order of beads. Especially since, at the beginning of the month, I decided I'd been spending too much money on beads lately and it was my goal to go through June without any new bead purchases. Ha! It's all Rebecca's fault.
Adding to the problem is the new catalog the company sent me for signing up on their website. After perusing it for a while, I found a handful of nifty things I'd missed on the website (the two are organized differently, after all) and just took a bit of time to add most of them to my cart.
Now comes the really tough part - narrowing it down. This part is even tougher because of all the great deals, I mean, come on only $2.26 for a 16" strand of faceted fancy jasper beads, or $1.85 for a 36" strand of flourite chips, how can I pass those up? *Sigh* Still, something must be done. So, I've printed out my cart on paper and pulled out my pen. Time to go through the list and think about what I have to have vs. what I just really want.
I still haven't decided how much I like this one. The polymer was an experiment with opalescent powder and translucent clay + a bit of green and blue. Constance thought it looked like jade, and I'm stealing her description. I like the shapes, but I'm not sure yet about the color. Kinda depends on what mood I'm in. The disc beads are aventurine.
Like, when I walk over to check on a table at just the right time to walk into this conversation between one of our regulars and two middle-aged gals:
"Donny, you're such a man-whore. (turns to me) Isn't he?"
-Gal
Poor guy, he was out-numbered. However, I could honestly say that I haven't noticed him to be particularly whorish. Mostly I see him alone or talking with either Julia or K.C. the doorguy. Not all that slutty. I have to add, though, that his two gal pals seemed quite keen on the idea anyway. A bit of vicarious living, perhaps?
"What about the ring?"
-Question asked by different people when I told them I was engaged
In some ways, I'm very different from my mom and in some I'm very much alike. Case in point: engagement rings. My mom has an opal "engagement" ring which she got a few years after she and my dad were married. She wears it on special ocassions. When my folks were first engaged, she said she didn't want one - she preferred to put that money towards something else, like their honeymoon.
I have no engagement ring, and people have tended to think it's weird. Julia suggested I go get an inexpensive cubic zirconia ring so I'd have something, and I thought about it - especially at the times when random drunk guys showed how they thought I work at a bar because I'm looking to meet men. Ultimately, though, I've decided it's not worth the trouble. I don't wear rings much, and I figure after October an engagement ring'd be a moot point anyway. I do plan to wear a wedding band (Keith and I are thinking maybe stainless steel or such).
It's funny, the closer this wedding gets, the more untraditional I want it to be. I'm the one getting married, I want to call the shots. The good news is, so far no one is having any problems with that. All my folks said was, "Just let us know what you want us to do," and my mom even said, "This is your wedding, I want you to do it how you want. I didn't get to."
In related news, I just found this article: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870
"I don't know; maybe this was on the sand already, and something else fell on my head." Bare Bear winked her one glass eye at me. So long I hadn't seen her. "A leaf from out a sea grape tree, something like that. Right, Bare Bear?" I hugged Lucky Bare Bear to my chest. I grinned at Hector. "She get small over the years, or I get big." She still fit in her old place, up against my breastbone.
Book Review: The New Moon’s Arms, by Nalo Hopkinson. Of all the novels I’ve read, this one falls much closer to the bottom of the list than the top. I'd call it mediocre, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, the idea is neat and swimming in myth (pun intended). I dig her whole take on selkies, and the way she integrates Caribbean folklore. However, I don’t dig the way she brings up characters and/or plot elements and continually lets them fall by. I just now realize that she was probably trying to cram too much into one novel. Either that or, as she was writing, she forgot what she’d already written and forgot about the various things she brought up earlier but never did anything/much with. The weird thing is, she’s an award-winning writer, and this is her fourth novel. Oi. Well, more power to her, I guess. This book wasn’t quite bad enough to set aside, but I’ve definitely seen better storytelling. I wonder if she was getting lazy by the time she got to this one.
"We order together and always end up getting the maximum discount."
-Rebecca
So, it turns out that Rebecca and her friends are getting ready to do another bead order through Firemountain Gems and I'm invited to go in on it. I've been perusing the website and adding oodles of stuff to my cart. Right now I'm up to a total of 80 things in my cart, though a lot of that is doubles (or, in the case of some silver spacers, 15Xs) of things. I'm getting lots of semi-precious stones, like three different shapes of tourmaline; lots of metal beads, which are great with anything; a generous handful of mother-of-pearl and freshwater pearls; and a smattering of glass beads; along with a bit of miscellany like extra bead wire. The most exciting single items: gorgeous blue coin pearls and two 
Buddha pendants, one of which is labradorite.
I'm so excited to get all my stuff, even though part of me is appalled at how much I'll be getting (not to mention spending). Then again, the discount will be awesome and I'm averaging out to spending only about $2.00 on any given thing, which is dirt cheap. Now, I just have to wait a couple more weeks until Rebecca's friend is ready to put in the order, and then wait for it to get here... Dang it. I want my beads now.
These beads are one of the weirdest things I've seen lately. They're shaped like gemstone chips, but they're actually glass. Strange. I added a few seed beads and put together a simple necklace. One which goes quite well with my orange shirt today.
I don't want to write the post twice, so here's a link:
http://dwtdwende.blogspot.com/
Everyone's feeling bummed around campus right now.
"My name is Ali, I'm a grad student here on campus, and I'll be making all your copies."
-Me introducing myself yesterday
This year's Summer Institute has officially begun. We have fifteen participants, including a gal named Olga who came over all the way from Russia, which I think is pretty nifty.
Today is day two of the SI and I've already burned through about 3,000 copies, thanks to all the various documents that everyone needs and handouts for demonstrations, and assigned readings. Whoo-boy, we're smokin' now.
On a nifty note, it's been decided that this year's SI will end with a writing marathon, instead of a visitor's day. Katherine invited me to participate and I'm looking forward to it. WMs are fun and there'll be free food. It's a win-win. Right now I've been on and off the phone with folks at Angelo's Pizza Parlor and Cafe Zajj scheduling room reservations and food. At the Cafe, we're going to get to binge on pastries and desert crepes, mmm... I can't wait for the SI to be over!
Step Two: Lay the first, butter side down, on one half of the smudge-pie maker. Add a dollop of canned pie filling (apple, in this picture).
Step Four: Cook over the fire. (Demonstrated here by Kelsey)
Step Five: Eat. 
My favorite thing about this necklace is how the dark blue and gold play off each other. The polymer was made using an uneven jellyroll cane, where I crumpled the sheets as I rolled them. The effect isn't incredibly pronounced, though. The other beads are brass spacers, metallic seed beads, and freshwater pearls.
The committee has conferred and made a decision. David's replacement will be the poet Juan Morales. Cheers.
"Simon just called me. The original campsite is full, but they found another one a few miles up the road. So follow the original directions, but instead of Forest Road 231, you now need to take Forest Road 240. The camp is 4 or 5 miles up that road. Look for a sign (I think) that says Angel of Shibano (or something like that). Please call Simon at ###-#### if you get confused."
-Email from Shane
A couple of years ago, a big chunk of our close-knit English major group graduated. As a way of having a last get-together before everyone scattered, Simon, Lydia and James came up with the idea to go camping. This weekend will be the third annual EMCT. The best part is how most of my Englishy friends have very limited camping experience. On the first trip I became famous as the outdoorsy gal. It was funny.
Actually, with Dorothy there, it was hilarious. Dorothy brought rubber gloves with her to the great outdoors and had James pour water bottles over her head so she could wash her hair. We were up at San Isabel, i.e. no facilites. One of the nights, I walked with Dorothy to the "bathroom" because she was nervous to go by herself. On the way we heard random animal noises and she was a little freaked out, thinking the mountain lions and bears were right beside us. "No, Dorothy, I'm sure it's just a chipmunk." Like I said, hilarious.
So, on Sunday, Mishell and I are going to load up my car and head up to meet everyone at the campgrounds and spend the night. It'll be fun. I just have to remember to borrow the smudge pie makers from my parents. Mmm... smudge pies.
“I just wanna make sure you’re happy, okay? If you’re not happy, I want you to tell me. How much would make you happy? What’s your name again?”
-Ben
Dealing with drunks is part of working at a bar. Ditto that for dealing with crazy drunks. So, on Saturday, I wasn’t all that surprised that we had one. The far more surprising thing was that he, apparently, had way too much money and wanted to share it. Now, hearing someone blather on about how they’re going to “take care of you” isn’t that uncommon. Having them actually do it, is. Having them “take care of you” and then some, is, extremely rare. Ben wanted Dave and I to be happy. I think he also wanted us to like him.
So, when Ben and his two friends came downstairs on Saturday night, he gave Dave a twenty, asked for five in quarters, and told him to keep the rest. When Dave brought over a few free shots as a thank-you, he handed Dave a ten dollar bill. He was very emphatic about us making sure he and his friends weren’t “fucked with.” This was monstrously easy to do since the bar was dead and we barely had ten people downstairs throughout the whole course of the night.
Ben quickly ran out of cash. I ran his credit card three times, each of which I had to physically place the card into his hand for fear he’d forget it. Each of which I also filled in the tip and the total and he signed it without looking at the numbers. He was adamant about spending money. When I was running the second slip, and he was going on again about how his name is Ben and he wants to make sure I’m happy, I mentioned it was my birthday. He tells me to add another twenty dollars to my tip. Thanks man. So I put a thirty dollar tip on a $13.50 round of drinks.
As the night progresses, he ends up tipping me $50 on the credit cards. He keeps saying that he won’t be happy unless Dave and I both go home with $100 (which means we’ll be happy). Okay, I have no problem with that. So, at the end of the night, when he and his pals say “no more, we’re headed home” he wanders over to the bar for one more round of shots (two for him, two for Dave, and one for me that I never drink because he’s already bought me about four and I only drank those ‘cause it was my birthday and I felt like “what the hell?”) I hand him the credit card slip, $22.50. He asks me how much he should put for a tip, what would make me happy.
- Now, let me tell you that this guy has been demanding, not in a mean way, but in a “You know, I’ve got another table wanting drinks, let me bring those over before you make me take another shot” kind of way. He’s also been ranting on and on about how he makes way too much money. I made ten dollars the night before. It’s my birthday. And, he wants me and Dave to be happy. So, this is what I said:
“Well, you said you want me and Dave to go home with a hundred dollars each tonight, and right now we’re both up to about fifty. You wanna do a hundred, fifty for me and fifty for him?”
Ben said, “Alright, let’s do it.”
I filled out the slip, he signed it, and I handed Dave two twenties and a ten. We all went home happy. As for me, I’m kinda proud of myself. Normally, I wouldn’t have the balls to do something like that. However, on this particular night, I figured I had nothing to lose – especially given our benefactor’s lack of any kind of short term memory. Thus, by going with my impulse, I made Dave and I fifty dollars each in the course of ten seconds. Not bad for a night’s work. The best part, is that since I only had a few other customers, since most of Ben’s payments and tips were via credit card, and since I only start out each night with fifty dollars cash, by the end of the night, the bar ended up owing me money when I closed out my bank. Not bad for working on my birthday, eh?
P.S. This is the kind of thing that never happens. Don't start thinking this is in any way typical. What usually happens is people come in, talk big, and leave a lousy tip or stiff me on it.
"The pressure is on. A first post on the new blog. Should I be sincere? Funny? Informative?
'The First' is always special and unforgettable, right? Not always. Sometimes The First is painful, embarrassing or messy."
-Deb
So begins my friend Deb's new blog about her first novel and being an editor at Apollo's Lyre. Extra bonus: she's also a great big fan of Great Big Sea.
http://theyremakingmeblog.blogspot.com/
This set is about as simple as it gets, purple glass beads with silver bugles (or just chain, for the earrings). This pair of earrings is one of my favorites, I really like using chain to create dangles because it really highlights the beads and keeps the earrings fairly light weight where same-sized drop with a line of beads wouldn't.
Oh digital camera, how I love thee. The other day it was nice and spring-like, so I went on down and took a walk by the river. I came home with about seventy pictures. Pictures are fun. So is picture editing software.
Movie Review: Wyatt Earp. After watching, and thoroughly enjoying, Tombstone, I thought I'd check out the competition. Tombstone came out way ahead. Wyatt Earp meanders through his whole damn life and makes sure to leave nothing out, for better or worse - I'd argue the latter. Where Tombstone benefits from taking liberties with facts to create a more compelling movie, Wyatt Earp loses sight of the story and gets bogged down in history.
"So I'm usurping the 100th post. [insert evil laughter here] Neener, neener Ali!"Since so many of my posts of late have had to do with writing, I've decided to launch a new, slightly more professional blog, founded in what Jay Udall said the other night. The blog: http://dwtdwende.blogspot.com/
Wish it luck.
"I’ve always had a bent towards apocalyptic fiction, and I’m beginning to understand why. I look and I see the earth in flames. Her face was nothing but red."
-Joss Whedon, http://whedonesque.com/comments/13271#more
I don't know if he planned it that way or not, but by adding the last sentence, Joss had a very poetic (if horrifying) moment in his post, which addresses a home video of an arab girl being beaten to death in an "honor killing." He makes an excellent point too, that while the act in and of itself is terrible, the fact that there were people who could calmly stand by and record it on their cell phone cameras is all that much worse. It's horrifying what people are capable of.
Okay, but why does this reaffirm Joss's hero status? Well, while his outrage and horror at the event are no more than I would expect from any intelligent and feeling person, he has the extra responsibility of being famous. And, he steps up to the plate and uses his fame for something more than promoting his next project. I have to give kudos to all celebrities who champion causes and speak out against the things that are wrong in the world. With all that influence and press, they ought to be doing something productive with it. Joss knows this, and that's exactly what he does.
"Give me your hand
skinny, beautiful Danny
with a pock mark scar
on his left cheek
said in sixth hour English"
-Barbed Wire, by me
David said to write a "close looking" poem for our second one, and a memory popped into my head of a guy I knew my freshman year of high school. One day while we were bored he drew on my wrist, a line of barbed wire, like a bracelet. It was a very strange, almost surreal, experience - especially since I had such a crush on him. Putting that down was one of the most scary things I've done in writing because of how incredibly intimate/personal the memory is. (Ha! Not anymore!)
I knew, despite the scary factor, that it was the right thing to do. I was hitting a nerve and that tends to be where the best poetry lies. Not the big "this is why I am what I am" kind of hitting a nerve, like writing an "I have issues with my mom/dad" poem, but digging out that memory that sticks with you even though it was only a moment kind of hitting a nerve. To date, I think it's the best poem I've written (and the class & David agree).
After reading and writing poetry on and off for a few years, maybe I'm finally starting to figure it out. To really get to the good stuff, you have to get to the scary stuff. It's all about taking that which is intensely personal and laying it out, layer by layer. Tough, especially for me, given how private and wrapped up I am.
Book Review: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach. Jenny told me to read this book, and I, ever obedient to Jenny's will, went to the library and got it. All-in-all, I read it in a day and found lots of interesting information - though an episode on Nip/Tuck had already shed light on the use of cadaveric heads for practicing plastic surgery. While she doesn't shy away from grisly practices, and gives overviews of things many people probably didn't really want to know (like how the brain of a decomposing body will literally ooze out of the ears), she also colors the chapters with a touch of humor and some neat historical points. A very interesting, and fun, read which makes me think I'd like to be composted when I die."Where's your sympathy?"
-Mom
On occasion, my mother has called me, usually jokingly, heartless. I’m not big on “ooh, that’s too bad” stuff when people complain. Why? Because of things like Saturday.
Katherine stopped by the bar for a while, along with a smattering of SCWP folk. One of whom is in the masters program and I’ve known her for a while. To be honest, I’m not a big fan. Let me explain: drama. On Saturday, Katherine and another gal were feeling badly for her, they even got her a shot out of sympathy. When this gal went out for a cigarette, I went out to pick up glasses from the patio and asked her about why she was so stressed.
I got a laundry list of every little problem she had, like the pump on her swamp cooler went out, her car’s having problems, her mom’s coming to visit and her house is messy, she’s so busy with SCWP, and she’s got a lot of school deadlines due at the end of the month. By the way, these school deadlines are her finishing up coursework for classes she took a semester or two ago and currently has an incomplete in. I was in one of those classes, I don’t think it was that overwhelming. Yeah, she works full time. Great. Um, so do I, and during the semester we had a class together, I think that was her only class (I took two). She doesn’t even have time-absorbing kids as an excuse. The best part was how she whined about not being able to even have the summer off because of SCWP (which is one month of the three of break). As I write this, I’m trying to remember the last time I had three months in a row where I didn’t have to go to work. I think it was middle school. Anyhow, during her litany, I nodded and said “yeah” and then tried to walk back inside. She kept right on talking. Yeesh. I wanted to tell her “Get the hell over it already, most of these problems are of your own making anyway.”
Then, on the other hand, we have Julia. She works three-four nights a week at the bar, including the occasional killer 2:30 p.m. – 2:00 a.m. (if she’s lucky) shift. She also works around thirty + hours as a caretaker, and she’s been taking classes. She finally got her bachelor’s on May 5th and had the whole week off of work for it. The week before she was looking forward to getting some housework done. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the chance. Her brother’s new baby died, SIDS strikes again, and she spent the week in Kansas for the funeral. Instead of getting a chance to have some time to herself and celebrate her degree, she got to spend some time with family, grieving over her nephew’s death. While she told me what happened, and I could tell how sad she was, she did not go on and on about how her life sucks.
Isn’t it funny how the people who complain the most are often those that have the least to complain about?
I bought the glass pendant at the good bead shop in town, We've Got Beads. (There are two others, which are less impressive). The shell nuggets came from Co. Springs, and the apatite was also from Co. Springs, though from a different shop - the now defunct Bonnie's Beads. I love necklaces like this one because it's a great example of how beads I've bought from totally different places, and at very different times, all come together and just click. There are some necklaces where, when I wear them, I'm almost guaranteed that someone will offer a compliment. This is one of them. After the first time I wore it, I had to go back and get a couple more pendants, because to do anything else would have been silly.
"Poetry is dancing with the dwende." Very mythical, yeah?
-Jay Udall
On Saturday, Katherine came to the bar for a bit and invited me to come to dinner with the 2nd David-candidate on Sunday. Candidate #2 is the poet Jay Udall. Nice guy. He's getting the campus tour/going through interviews right now and will be in class tonight to workshop a couple of poems and talk to us.
Candidate #1 was a gal who signs her name Darlin', though her formal name escapes me. Also nice, and a fiction writer. I didn't like the way she ran workshop, though. She separated criticism and praise (which is so restricting, because most comments work best as "Your strongest part is X, the weaker part is Y, so take another look at Y and think what you were thinking for X" and without being able to make a comparison, it's tough and less helpful) and let the author say something at the end. I don't want an explanation. The point is that you say it in what you wrote, and if you didn't, tough. I can understand her idea behind doing things that way, but I'm not sold.
Going back to last night, I learned a few things about Jay that won't likely come up in class tonight. For instance, I know he has a six year old daughter and tendonitis in both arms, which is why he can't play guitar anymore. He did bring his harmonica, though, so I can easily picture him and David having a "jam" session, or at least what passes for one when you get two geeky poets together. I'm very curious to see what he does in workshop. From asking last night, I get that he does pretty much what David does, but he didn't mention whether the writer was silent during comments. One nifty thing he did mention was that he often likes to have someone other than the writer read the poem aloud (then have the poet read it) because someone who didn't write the poem will read it differently. I think that's a neat idea for making sure what's on the page is what you mean to be on the page - i.e. like the line breaks are where they ought to be kind of stuff.
Dinner was neat, there were six of us all together, and I was the only one who was strictly a student and nothing else. After being bummed out about the T.A., the semi-special dinner was nice and makes me feel a little more loved. I was a representative for the collective graduate students. I'm important again. Or maybe at least convenient.
Except for those who decided to get a little more proactive about cooling off.
After roaming the zoo for a few hours, we headed home in a nice, air-conditioned car. The best part, I didn't even get sun burned.
"It'll be good."
-David
Tonight begins Eng. 640, a four week summer poetry workshop. I'm a bit apprehensive:
1. Most of the people in this workshop are inexperienced as poets + the misconception that poetry is "easy" = potential for a lot of "I feel" or "I think deep thoughts" poetry.
2. I haven't written any poetry (save random word poetry for Camii) in nearly two years. I'm rusty.
On the bright side, I know a lot of fun people will be in class, so - however, the potential difficulties fall - there should be a good group dynamic.
In the process of all this jewelry making that I do, I make a lot of pieces I'm happy with, and a few that I end up not so fond of. So, here are some of my misfires.
I like the polymer beads for this one, but putting them together with gold and carnelian makes the necklace look more washed out than anything else. The gold, especially, is just too much. In theory, the gold and the red stone would have echoed/pulled out the corresponding colors in the beads, but actually doing it just didn't quite work.
I mixed the howlite and glass beads in another necklace, and really liked the combination. However, my impulse to add the dangles just botched the design. With them hanging off the necklace, the piece looks overweight and bulky.
This one is made with experimental beads, and while the end result (reminiscent of tiger eye) is kind of fun, the spacer beads make the design fall flat. Perhaps pairing the polymer beads with some genuine tiger eye could improve things.
They said, "great" and now it's the middle of May and I still have no check. Boy am I ever glad I said I would send the jewelry after I got the payment. At least this way, I may have no money, but I do still have the merchandise. So, today I send them an e-mail saying I have someone else interested in the pieces (okay, a lie) and they have one week to send me payment or I will no longer hold the jewelry for them (totally honest). Maybe this is the kick in the pants they needed, or maybe not. Either way, in another week I can stop this irritating waiting on them to get in gear. I mean, three months. My god. It does NOT take that long to write a check, it really doesn't.
Hi guys, it's Jenny again.
(First note: Congrats on the pimpin' ride to Ali's little bro...ah, they grow up so quickly....)
Now, about the whole "only thirty pages" thing -- for those who may've missed the post, Ali was riding me about my lack of production (and I do love her for it) -- I am slowly rectifying the situation, however, if someone did the math, they would realize that Ali turns in a mere 10 pages to our writer's group a month....
I just realized that my point required far too much math to be viable here, as the sum total of my mathematical ability, divided by 1, would still be 0. Basically I think I was saying, you know, in a real page-turn-out contest, that I think I could take her.
Challenge? Maybe. We don't know.
Hi, it's Ali's little brother again. This time I figured I'd let you folks know that I bought a car. It's in pretty sorry shape right now, but soon it will be totally amazing. Of course soon is a very subjective word and totally amazing is a matter of my personal opinion. I'll probably upload a couple of pictures once she's all spiffed out.
"Okay, we've got you reserved."
-Gal at the cottage place
Tomorrow Keith and I set off on a mini vacation to Estes Park. We're going to stay at a little cottage and do a bit of hiking, a lot of bumming, and take a day trip to the Denver Zoo. I'm quite looking forward to it.
Along on the trip will be the first 141 pages of Deb's manuscript, My Mother's Ghost which she recently pitched to an agent who asked for it, in full. She's now frantically "polishing" it before sending it to the agent, and a handful of us, including Jenny and I, have volunteered to lend a hand. Yes, everyone says that pinning one's hopes on a single agent is silly, the odds are against you and all that. However, the fact that he requested the whole manuscript right off the bat and told her he loved her voice, makes me excited for her.
Speaking of Jenny, she's making some progress with her own manuscript, Following Julia Roberts, which she gave me thirty more pages of on Saturday. Thirty pages is not what I would hope for, but it's a start. I'm giving her quite a hard time about writing more. Right now. For me. Damnit. I may have to update my list of occupations: Student, waitress, SCWP assistant, and Jenny nag.
For my own writing, I've decided to pull back on Oracle and stop submitting it to the group for now. I can't write fast enough to be fair to them, and everyone's losing track of what's-what since I'm constantly changing things as I go, making people say "Huh? I don't remember that from the last chapter." Shame on me. Thus, I've decided to work on the book on my own for now, and spend some time building up my short story pile (which has gone long neglected). I'm two pages into a brand new story, and it's feeling good to think that it'll actually be complete soon, rather than a few years from now.
Excellent news. Wal-Mart (a.k.a. Devil-Mart according to my friend Julia) is currently carrying a box set of the Mexico trilogy for $15 and change. Whoo-hoo! Guess what's now sitting on my bookshelf?"Is yours done?"
"Just about."
-Katherine asking me about my teaching portfolio
By 5:30 p.m. today my semester is over, for better or worse. 5:30 is when my last project for Katherine's class is due, my teaching portfolio. Talk about frustration, I had to walk away from my computer for a while yesterday or else I was going to start cussing and/or banging stuff. I've tried in this class, I really have, but in the end my interest level was simply not equal to the demands of the course. Theory shmeory. Ugh. The teaching portfolio is the penultimate implementation of the course material, in theory. I've got it all done (paper revision, endnotes/works cited, assignment series, etc.) except for my teaching philosophy statement. I have no idea what the hell to do with it.
What is my philosophy of teaching? Writing is important. Um... then what? It's supposed to be 1-2 pages, single spaced (don't ask me why) and it's supposed to demonstrate my understanding/implementation of composition theory. I'm supposed to demonstrate, through this philosophy, whether I'm expressivist or social-constructivist and all that good stuff. It doesn't help that I'm trying to write this after finding out I didn't get the T.A. The thought persisting in the back of my mind is, "Who cares what my teaching philosophy is right now? It's not like it mattters."
I'm so burned out, the office is starting to smell like smoke.
"The world is always clamoring for something to live up to the swan dress...."
-Extreme Craft Guy
http://extremecraft.typepad.com/extreme_craft/2007/04/icelandic_wool.html
A little something to keep you going until the concert :)
# 38: Do you see nothing wrong with having two characters from the same small isolated village being named "Tim Umber" and "Belthusalanthalus al'Grinsok"?
http://rinkworks.com/fnovel/
Funny, funny stuff. The good news is, I think I'm only guilty of about two of those. However, according to the exam writer's, one is enough to smack a novelist for. Hrm...
Seriously, though, some of the crimes they list are fairly staple of fantasy stories, I mean, magical artifacts are what it's really all about. Oh, and saving the world, too. It almost doesn't count if the whole world isn't in danger.
"It's easier to pull the trigger than play guitar. Easier to destroy than create."
-El Mariachi, Desperado
This submission was one of the pulling teeth chapters where I had to sit there and think, "And what's next?" a dozen times or more. Ugh. However, I made it to 4, 023 words all together and I even managed to print it out. Thus, it is only Saturday and my submission is completely and utterly ready to go. Compared to the past few months, I'm on a roll.
I saw Ali's post about her political survey results and since I have nothing better to do right now, I figured I'd check it out. I turned out to be borderline between a Utilitarian and Centrist.
| You are a Social Liberal (61% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (65% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
"If you are not happy with life, you can find out why."
-Part of the test description
I took this test a while back and was impressed and astounded by the amount of slant in the questions and the number of totally oddball things they ask about. Things like this really bring out the English major in me. Here are some examples:
Do you intend two or less children in your family even though your health and income will permit more? Children is a countable noun, should be "or fewer."
Do you consider more money should be spent on social security? Better word would be "think"
Is your voice monotonous, rather than varied in pitch? Yes! I am monotonous!
Do you get occasional twitches of your muscles, when there is no logical reason for it? I have no idea what muscle twitches have to do with religion, I really don't
Are you normally considerate in your demands on your employees, relatives, or pupils? Who's going to say no, I'm an ass?
Do you find yourself being extra-active for periods lasting several days? Just like the muscle twitches
Is your life a constant struggle for survival? Absolutely, unless my next student loan comes through, I'll probably starve to death
Do you consider there are other people who are definitely unfriendly toward you and work against you? Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get me.
Would you admit you were wrong just to “keep the peace”? See, "admit" implies guilt, like "confess." This question is really asking "Would you confess that you screwed up just to "keep the peace," which implies that you should keep your fuck-uppery to yourself.
Do you consider the good of all concerned rather than your own personal advantages? Implication: are you a selfish bastard?
Do you completely condemn a person because he is a rival or opponent in some aspect of your relations with him? Oh yeah, that's not loaded.
Are there some things about yourself on which you are touchy? If we're being honest, here, can anyone actually answer "no" to this question? Come on.
Are you logical and scientific in your thinking? Nope, I'm an irrational nut.
Is your facial expression varied rather than set? Because I always watch my face when I talk.
Is your opinion influenced by looking at things from the standpoint of your experiences, occupation or training? Don't we always base our opinions on our personal experience? I mean, what else would we base our opinions on?
Do you usually criticize a film or show that you see or a book that you read? Well, I am an English major... I even criticize personality tests. I must be stopped!
Would you like to “start a new activity” in the area in which you live? Point of grammar - the quotation marks here are trying to show an idom, but when did that become an idiom? Do they even know the defintion of an idiom? I think not.
Can you trust the decision of your judgment in an emotional situation in which you are involved? "the decison of your judgment" is the part I like the most.
Do you spend much time on needless worries? Weighted much?
Do you often ponder over your own inferiority? When did I become inferior?
And the results, ladies and gentlemen:
"Your personality test profile is now being sent to a professional test evaluator at the Church of Scientology listed below." Last time I got to see a graph that said I was slightly deranged and possibly suicidal, or something like that. This time, I see nothing. What a shame. The 200 question test is a little hilarious. It's a horrible test thanks to unclear questions, weighted language, and slanted connotations. But, good for a laugh on occasion. http://www.scientology.org/oca.htm
| You are a Social Liberal (61% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (35% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
There's a lot of fantasy that deals with magic, but little (at least that I've seen) that puts the emphasis on religion instead. So, that's what my focus is in Oracle. The disaster the heroes have to avert is basically an old god trying to reassert his power - which, unfortunately makes people crazy and sick. Toloth is the god of magnets/magnetism and unbalances living things, which is why there's a problem. His stronghold is a new electric mill (a water powered electric generator) in the most remote part of the country/continent. The country the heroes are in is roughly similar to the late 1800's, early 1900's, think more western than medeival. The country is divided up into a handful of provinces, each ruled by a noble family.
New Gods:
Nyma - goddess of water and life
Liusaidh - goddess of warfare and fire
Ordin - god of gold, earth, and tradition
Old Gods:
All have been replaced by the new gods, except for Toloth who is trying to come back.
Primary Characters:
Jalena - Nyman priestess, created the "holy" sword and dagger that are Nyma's weapons on earth, and something of a prophet.
Arnell - Mercenary hired to track Jalena down, has a change of heart and teams up with her, Kelda, Devyn, Stefanee and Dorian.
Kelda - A red-skinned healer who heals by manipulating the flow of blood in someone's body, the result of an immaculate conception when her mother tried to summon Nyma.
Devyn - Kelda's adoptive father and a woodsman, used to be a Liusaidhan, but now follows Nyma.
Nolan - A tavern owner whose wife left him and their daughter, Gwyn. Also, he's the one Jalena gave the sword and dagger for safe keeping.
Gwyn - Nolan's daughter and Sedge's lover, trained to fight by Nolan and as good a swordsman as Sedge.
Sedge - Born of a noble family, ran when his father died and found Nolan who offered him a place to stay. He's also the one chosen to bear the holy weapons.
Stefanee - Sedge's younger sister, currently fourteen. Trained in a Liusaidhan temple and adept at her weapons training, has a talent for picking things up quickly.
Dorian - Sedge's younger brother, currently sixteen. Also trained at the Liusaidhan temple, but had no talent for combat. Alligned with Ordin and for years has assumed that Sedge was dead and he was next in line for the succession.
Maeve - Retired mercenary, Stefanee's mentor, and Gwyn's mother/Nolan's wife.
Baylor - The big bad. He's Toloth's high priest and an active recruiter for the cause.
Attun - Orphaned teen poacher, he was taken in by Baylor and eventually became Baylor's most trusted henchman, despite his youth, because of his unquestioning loyalty and keen forester's abilities.
Okay, that's everyone. As you can see, there are a lot of characters. Most of them have POV chapters, too, which makes life interesting. It's a lot of fun, though, to switch perspectives, because the tone of an Arnell chapter is much different than that of a Kelda chapter. One of the best things anyone has said about Oracle was when Nicole was talking about how much she likes the characters, she said something like "Whenever I'm reading a Stefanee chapter, I always think how I wish the whole novel were written from her POV. But then, when I read the next chapter, in someone else's POV, I think the whole thing should be in their POV."
Going on two years now. Yeesh, I'm so glad to finally be getting close to the end. Then it's just a matter of starting to edit, which will be almost as much work as writing the thing in the first place, thanks to all the changes to character, setting, and plot I'll be making. However, once the first draft is finished, I am not only allowed, but encouraged, to let the thing sit in a box for a few months. I can't wait.
"How's that for a reunion?"
-Arnell, current chapter of Oracle
I'm feeling a bit please with myself because I added about three and a half pages to my next submission in about an hour this morning. My total page count is now at five. Nothing astonishing, I know, but good for me. This weekend is writers' group weekend and I'm ahead of where I usually am at this point. Go me!
Now that I'm getting to the climax, I'm struggling with what to write next. I'm still not exactly sure how I want the pieces to fall together or who will come out a hero and who will come out dead. Of course, it seems like each submission I have this problem, the "what makes this part important?" problem. This chapter is important because Stefanee finally meets up with her long-lost older brother and because it leads up to his attempt to break out of where he's being imprisoned by Baylor.
As I get closer and closer to the big show down, the problem of what to do with Dorian keeps nagging at me. Ugh.
"You're great."
-Katherine
Yesterday, when Katherine broke the news, she added that she wanted to talk to me about it, but then she was in a meeting. This morning, though, we had a chance. She said encouraging things, like "you were a strong competitor" and how they (the comittee) talked about things they saw as my strengths, etc. The long and short of it being that they had a dozen people applying for two positions and six who were all strong candidates. She also sounded really relieved when I said that I understand, "thank you for being so mature about this."
Really, it's just like publishing, right? Sometimes the editor says yes, more often they say no, and just because they say no, it doesn't mean they wouldn't have said yes at another time. So, yes, I'm bummed out that I didn't get it. However, I understand that doesn't mean I don't deserve it (if that makes sense), especially after my talk with Katherine about how wonderful I am. She also made a point of mentioning how another gal who's a T.A. now had to apply twice, and that when she herself was a grad student she was tenth on the waiting list for a T.A. at her alma matter. Perspective, yeah?
Mostly, it seems, the thing working against me was my reserve. No, I don't like to always jump in when other people are talking. I'd much rather ask a question than make a point, etc. Which isn't to say that I can't, but it is to say that they were looking for someone they've seen to be more outspoken. At least, that's what I'm getting from the comments Katherine made. The most encouraging thing, is that she seems invested in getting me to be a T.A. and talked about working on making me a stronger candidate over the fall and such so that the next time I apply, I get it. It's nice to have her backing me on this, even if this go 'round it didn't work out.
Also helping my good mood: last night I discovered that the Research Methods class I have to take in the fall will not, after all, be taught by the professor I can't stand who I had in the fall. He's moving to Georgia. Hoorah for me! I don't have to have Dr. Moron again.
"Did you get your letter yet?"
-Katherine's reply at first when I asked about the T.A.
Dorothy and Kevin got the T.A.s and I'm glad that I can nod and say "yeah, I see why." If I didn't get one, at least certain other folks didn't either. Not an upper, though.
Katherine was apologetic about it, and told me to re-apply next time. Kinda shoots my vision for the fall, though.
Jack Lucas: I don't mean to be flippant or to enrage you or anything, but you're a psychotic man.
Parry: I know.
Jack Lucas: A very nice psychotic man.
Parry: Thank you.
Movie Review. The Fisher King. After watching The Big Lebowski I was a bit wary to venture into another Jeff Bridges movie, but I'm definitely glad I did. Bridges plays a Howard Stern-ish radio DJ whose words urge a listener to shoot nearly a dozen bar patrons and then himself. Years later, a now-pathetic Bridges happens upon the husband of a woman who died in the shooting and who is now a mentally troubled homelss man, played by Robin Williams. Great acting, and I love the incorporation of mythology into the modern story. Awesome stuff all 'round, and I absolutely recommend it. You'll never think of nudity and Central park in the same way again...
Parry: Come on. Free up the little guy. Let him flap in the breeze.
A while back, I put up some pictures showing the steps for making a set of polymer clay beads.
http://ev-boulevard.blogspot.com/2007/03/project-pictures-polymer-bead-set.html
Here's the final necklace. Along with the polymer, I used citrine chips, metallic seed beads and small maroon freshwater pearls.
Hi, I'm Casey. I'm Ali's younger brother. I make up for her being an English major by being a Physics major. I currently go to the Air Force Academy. In my squadron, I've been dubbed the squadron hippie. I guess that's a good example of the duality of man or something. Anyway, I guess my sister figured that I could be a useful contributor here on El Vermino Boulevard. I'll eventually get around to writing something I'm sure but until then, well I don't know. Thanks for the invite sis.
--Casey
Here's what I wrote at our last stop which was on the Arkansas River. It's messy, I know. This is the rough draft right out of my notebook:
The bridge support tells me LOVE and don't get me wrong, I'm all for love, but I find it odd that none of the officially sanctioned murals along the river say anything about love, only the grafitti. Official murals:
Irish Club
Recyle, Reuse, Reduce 4R Planet
I Walk on This Earth
econo
The only one that comes close seems like it's a quote from somewhere, though I can't peg it. "The biggest expression of a civilization is not art but the supreme tenderness that can be between human beings. Art proceeds out of an exquisite awareness of life." I wonder, though, if it isn't a quote, but the artist's own words. Maybe I should Google it and see if anything comes up.
To our left, a kayaker makes his or her way upstream and Nicole asks, "Is kayak a palindrome?"
LOVE painted on the bridge support in clumsy red letters that have to be at least ten feet high. LOVE is bigger than I am.
On the train bridge that goes across the Interstate just after Abriendo, I think this same person has been at work.
LOVE, HOPE, and WONDER have all appeared there, painted over soon enough with grey. Once, the words were DANNY GLOVER. The best part, though, is seeing one word sometimes become another. I remember seeing HOPE morph into WONDER. LOVE became DANNY GLOVER. It's all connected, see?
"I am a friend to the bottle of gravy..."
-Kevin, during the read around (hilarious, by the way)
After the yada-yada of "This is what a writing marathon is" and passing around the sign-in sheet, we got down to writing. We started as a big group and got a writing prompt which followed a reading out of Natalie Goldberg's book Laying Down the Bones (or something similar). The prompt was to start out "I am a friend to __" and insert inanimate objects. It made sense in context, I promise. I didn't use the prompt, non-conformist that I am, but Kevin did, and his piece was mundo humorous.
"You coming with us?"
-Constance
Then we split up. My group: John (from the writers' group in Springs), Nicole, Constance, and Dan (one of Constance's students). We went to three different spots all-in-all and had a grand ole time. Writing marathons are fun. I may try to organize an impromptu one for some folk from the Springs writers' group and/or whoever on campus might be interested. I got about a page down each time we wrote, so four, and started three brand-new stories.
"Hey Michael, good news. They've got sausage."
-Me, to my very gay friend
We all met back at Angelo's Pizza Parlor for free pizza - which was very, very tasty - and the read around - which was interesting in spots. Some of the writing was quite good. Some was a bit inappropriate. The topper was from a woman who's notorious on campus for being a general nut job and was essentially about how she wants to get some and nobody's interested. Great. I'm so glad she shared that. Crazy woman.
"I'll have one too."
-Nicole, who mirrored my drink orders tonight. She regretted the Grand Marnier.
Afterwards, most people went to my bar. I opted not to because they asked me to come in tonight, on my night off (the first night off I've actually gotten after I asked for it in a few months) and I didn't want to go as a patron and get the guilt trip about not being there as a waitress. However, Nicole had no problem splitting off so we went to Gus's where Keith met up with us. Much fun, and not as much alcohol, was had and it's now after eleven and I just dropped Nicole off at home not too long ago. Sure, eleven's not that late by most standards, but it's a whole lot later than I've been out any time lately. As Keith would put it, I'm weak sauce.
Anyhow, I'm so very glad I did the marathon. I've got the seeds for a few new stories, and got to have some social time with some fun people. Did I mention the free Angelo's pizza? Mmm...
TV Review: Heroes. When this series first came out on TV, I wanted to watch it so badly. However, having a Monday evening class clashed with when it was shown. Poor me. Now I'm catching up, and I have to say, I'm glad I waited until I had a chance to watch the episodes in order. Hoorah. Great stuff. I love the characters, especially Mohinder and Hiro. The episodes are laid out so well, and the season arc is wonderfully structured. One of those shows where you finish an episode, then have to watch the next so you can see what they do with the cliffhanger. Nice.
