Tutorials: Economical Beading

"Yes, Ali, I'll work on those earrings this weekend, too."
-D.B.

All this talking with D.B. about her venturing into the beading world has gotten my brain wheels turning. I keep trying to think about whatever tricks, shortcuts & techniques I've learned and how they might be helpful for other folks. So, I've decided to work on some tutorial-type posts for anyone who's interested in beading or simply curious about putting stuff together.

One of the things that D.B. has mentioned is how quickly beading can become expensive. Tell me about it. There are plenty of times when I'll walk into a bead shop thinking, "okay, I'm only getting X" and then walk out with fifty or more dollars of merchandise. There are, however, a few things I like to do to make my beading dollars stretch.

Tools
Having the right tools will make life a ton easier. However, you don't need too many. My essentials are a good pair of round nose pliers, crimping pliers (for finishing necklaces) and beading needles. I also have a pair of side cutting pliers, but I'd say these aren't essential. Instead, try a pair of toe nail clippers. They cut just as well, and their shape actually makes it possible to trim your wire a little closer.

Beads: Cannibalism
One of the nicest things about beading is the recycling potential. I've undone a ton of necklaces and other jewelry to reuse the components. Thrift shops, garage sales, and friends who are getting rid of old jewelry are great and cheap sources for beads. As an added bonus - recycled beads are usually those you'd never find anywhere else, so there's an added level of uniqueness. The necklace below was made from a few brass bugles I had, a couple of seed beads, and parts of a broken rosary someone gave me. It was especially handy because I was also able to salvage some of the chain - premade dangles.

Beads: Getting Better Mileage

Seed beads are your best friend. Any time you can only afford a few gorgeous beads, seed beads can step in and make those dozen beauties into a whole necklace. Also, I always make sure to have metallic seed beads on hand because they make a great substitution for more-expensive metal spacers. Unless you're looking really close, it can be hard to tell the difference.

Beads: Semi-Precious

Two things to keep in mind here: cut and substitutions. A lot of the time even less expensive stones can cost a lot because of the size and/or cut of the bead - faceted = more $. Sometimes it's more than worth it, but ask yourself whether you're in love with the beads because of the cut, or if it's really the stone itself. Buying a less expensive cut can get the same effect for less wallet pain. My favorite example of this is using stone chips - you still get the beautiful color of apatite, but with less cost.

At the bead shop near my house there are these lovely red and green pendants made out of ruby embedded in zoisite. They're about fifteen dollars. Not far away are fancy jasper pendants which have similar colors, but only cost three dollars. While there's definitely a difference, I'm not quite ready to pay the extra money when I can get an almost same look for much less. When you find a pricey stone you love, look around a bit more, there's a good chance there's something similar nearby.

An example of ruby in zoisite (over $70 for a 7 inch strand -firemountaingems)

One of the fancy jasper pendants I bought. $3.00

Bonus tip:

To start off, D.B. is going to do earrings as her first projects. Keep these in mind if you really want those pricey beads because you only need two to get a finished product.

Speaking of the BBBO

Here's what my part of the order looked like.

Kyanite from the BBB Order

As you can see, I'm experimenting with some new photography backgrounds. I'm not sure how much I like this in comparison to the flat black background. Any thoughts?

This necklace is fun because of the big chunky faceted kyanite beads which gives this necklace a pretty unusual look. Along with the kyanite are blue faceted pearls and silver spacers.

Sitting on Houses

"We're leaving tomorrow."
-Gretchen

I used to do a lot of babysitting for this family and it's always nice to hear from them. Especially when they want me to housesit, and especially when they have new pets. Now, along with the crazy Springer spaniel, they've added two cats to the household. They're still more kitten than cat, I think she said six weeks. They're incredibly cute, and I get to play with them lots. I'm also staying at the house, which is far nicer than mine and has central air. It's a good time all 'round.

Of course, it puts a hitch in my plans for this week: making lots of jewelry and taking pictures of it. However, I'm really not crying about it. Kitties, remember?

Bead Nirvana

"When I got the big box full of beautiful beads, it was just like Christmas."
-Rebecca

Yesterday in the early afternoon, Rebecca called to say she'd received and sorted the beads from the big order, and she was on my side of town and how about she bring them by? I promptly told her my address then tried to force myself not to sit by the front window - I was partly successful with that one.

She finally pulled in and handed me a big plastic bag full of littler plastic bags holding strings of wonderful beads. I'm still marveling over the faceted flourite beads, which are HUGE. As much as I love the discounts of online shopping, there are advantages of a bead shop where you can see things in the flesh. Ah well, a few things aren't quite what I envisioned, but nothing was a disappointment.

I got down to business right away and whipped out two necklaces before going to work at five: one with the labradorite Buddha and one with faceted kyanite. There's a mess on my desk from the pile of new goodies, but it's a beautiful mess. Pictures soon, I promise.

An Ominous Feeling

"You're computer is scheduled to be upgraded."
-Campus Computer Tech Guy

Tomorrow the tech guys are going to come to the office to upgrade my computer. I have a bad feeling about this. After the recent file-wiping debacle, I can't help but wonder if there's some deja-vu right around the corner. Fortunately, I have my nifty CDRW to back up files, but I keep thinking something's going to go wrong. After all, I have two new anthologies I'm working on, and the original isn't printed yet.

Tonight, when you say your prayers to the computer gods, would you mind putting in a good word for me?

Windtalkers

"...here indeed is one of the worst war movies of all time.

Quite why it should've been so is mystifying, for in the subject of the Navajo code talkers there's a genuinely interesting story: how they were recruited, the dilemmas they faced in signing up to war, the problems of integration, the heroism they showed and the regrettable secrecy that for so long obscured the nature of their contribution. . . in the hands of half-way proficient moviemakers, the code talkers' tale would've made for first class cinema.

Instead we get 129 tedious minutes of pyrotechnic mayhem"
-IMDB Reviewer, Critical Eye UK http://imdb.com/user/ur0877809/comments-index?start=0&count=69&summary=off&order=alpha

Well, other than repeat what this reviewer has already said (which I agree with wholeheartedly) I'll just add that I started skipping scenes toward the beginning of the movie - and wish I had started even earlier. While it has a few not-so-bad moments, there are a great many more lame, melodramatic, or just plain dumb-assed ones. Oi.

The one high point - a few minutes of screen time for Bride and Prejudice alum, Martin Henderson.

Ankle Bracelets

"Will you make me an ankle bracelet with these?"
-Camii

When we went to the shops in Grand Junction, Camii found some nifty goldstone and tiger eye beads which then came home with me so I could do some custom jewelry for her. About a week later, these are what I came up with. I figured that if I did four, she'd be bound to really like at least one. I quite like the way they turned out - the tiger eye beads especially are lovely. Even more, I like the idea that she'll be wearing them. I make so much jewelry and can't wear it all, so it's nice when other people help share the burden.

Here's a closer look. While I like them all, I think my favorite one is the third from the right. It's all tiger eye thanks to some leftovers I had in my bead stock. It's neat how a single type of stone can have so many variations in color.

A Plethora of Johns

"Hi, I'm John."
-John

You ever notice how sometimes there's suddenly a ton of people you know who all have the same name? Right now, I'm dealing with just such an occasion. Granted, a certain amount of John-ness is ingrained into my life just because of who my family is. John is the name of my dad, two uncles, and my brother's middle name. So, just starting out there are already four.

Plus, at the bar we have a few regulars named John and a bartender John. Then, in the Springs writing group there's another John. It's nuts. I'm going to have to start keeping track of which John I had which conversatio with, and which owes me money, etc. Ok, just kidding on that money one - unless there are any volunteers?

On the other hand, I only know one Camii. One Jenny. One Casey (though he had a gal in his grade with the same name, but she doesn't count 'cause I don't know her). One Oliver. The list goes on. Then again, once we get into the Daves, we end up with the same plethora phenomenon. Just counting the eight or so of us who work at the bar there's already two.

It gets a bit silly sometimes. Really. Reminds me of one year in elementary school when we had three Joseph's in one class. To make things easy, one became Joey, one stayed Joseph, and one became Tyler (and has remained Tyler ever since). Why do names run in streaks like this? It's a weird thing with aligning planets and such, and I can't quite figure it out. I just wonder which name will be in surplus next? Gisele?

Why Does it Have to be So Hard?

"So, I admit that I'm a bit confused."
-Me, e-mail to Fidlar-Doubleday rep.

Another delay in the publishing process. Egad, will this book ever be printed? This time the delay is because of payment. I spoke with the gal about using a purchase order for payment, and she said that'd work. Then, a couple of days ago she asked where our credit application was. But, we're doing a PO for payment, not a credit card. Huh?

A handful of e-mails and a couple of phone calls later, I spoke with someone in customer service (the rep. I'd been talking with is out of the office for the next couple of days) and finally got it cleared up. The credit application (which requires a credit card number) is a safeguard for them, to make sure they don't get ripped off. Fair enough.

The next hitch - the woman who had the P-card for the English department (i.e. the department credit card) is out of the office until next Wednesday. More waiting. I'm tellin' ya, sometimes I wonder if this book is ever going to happen. And now it's time to start working on the next one already...

One of these days we'll get a nice big box full of the finished product, and I think I may die of shock right on the spot.

Big Bad Bead Order Update

"I sent the order through today."
-Rebecca

I'm so excited. I've spent over a month looking forward to new bead goodies, and with five day shipping, I might have them as soon as this time next week. The days can't go by fast enough.

Sometimes a Bear is Just a Bear

Timothy Treadwell: Oh my gosh! The bear has left me her poop! It's her crap! It was just in her butt and it's still warm! This is a gift...
-Grizzly Man

I just watched this documentary last night and I have to say it's pretty good. Also impressive in how it shows the very unbalanced mental state of Treadwell. Not that Herzog purposely sets out to do so, in fact, he gives Treadwell a lot of credit. However, the simple facts of the footage show a very disturbed guy.

Treadwell was delusional at the very least - anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that wild animals are just that. Yet, in footage he shot of himself he gives these big speeches about how much he loves the bears in a they're-my-best-friends kind of way. Creepy. Add to that his profanity laden rants against the forest service, his paranoid comments about who's out to get him, his lack of concern about habituating wild animals to humans, and that he took personal offense at the harsher side of nature, and you get a guy who proclaims to love nature, yet doesn't understand it. Nuts, I tell ya. I strongly recommend this documentary to anyone who's got an interest in either psychology or ecology, or those who just have morbig curiosity.

Let me just interject here that I spent about six years volunteering at a raptor rehab. center. I want to make it very explicit that wild animals are not your friends, and wild predators even less so. The only time animals "get along" with humans is when they've been habituated to them, in the case of birds, it's called imprinting and it's an irreversible mental process wherein a bird believes they are human.

We had an imprinted barn owl who's an excellent case-in-point. He was so firmly imprinted that he made courtship gestures toward humans (especially blond gals), fell asleep during presentations, and attacked another barn owl who was once put in the same cage. What's the big deal about falling asleep? A wild raptor will never fully relax in the presence of humans because it looks at us and sees larger predators. That Skyler wasn't worried was a bad sign. Imprints are permanent residents. Unlike birds who've been physically injured, but then heal, imprinting can never undone.

Wild animals are wild animals and even people who know what they're doing (I'm not including Treadwell here) can get hurt. Peggy, who was the Raptor Center biologist, has a severed nerve in her left hand and a thumb that doesn't work quite right because she didn't pay as much attention as she should have. She was doing a presentation with a great horned owl (non-imprint) and let the crowd get a little too close. The bird tightened its grip on her fist and ran its talons right through the glove, her hand, and out the opposite side of the glove. Peggy didn't even notice until someone told her she was bleeding.

While I was at the R.C. I was never hurt by a bird (though I did get bitten by a feeder rat). Part of this was the training I recieved, more was luck. After all, I often did the exact same thing Keith did when one day he was holding a bald eagle and the eagle turned its head and bit Keith's lip. Keith had to get stitches. Predators are built to kill, and even though we take precautions, we're never completely safe.

Treadwell didn't give the bears the respect they deserved as predators. While the loss of human life is sad, I can't feel particularly upset about his death. It's like feeling sorry for the guy who comes to the bar every night and drives home drunk, saying "I know how to handle my liquor," then one night smashes into a tree.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for protecting these bears and other wild animals. I just draw the line at making them my "buddies."

Purple Teardrops

I'm not a huge fan of teardrop shaped beads, but for some reason I got some purple glass teardrops to go with some purple round beads I had. Add some silver daisy spacers and small green glass pearls, and this is what you end up with. This one I like for its slightly trendy look and the abundance of silver.

Talking Again

"I'd kinda like to see you at some point. Maybe that's a mistake. Maybe I'll second guess myself on that. I don't know when or how that'll go, so how about you call me when you're ready?"
-Keith

When Keith and I split, I sent him an e-mail (too emotional to call) saying I didn't like the idea of him disappearing from my life all of sudden. A few days ago, he replied to it. A couple more e-mails, and the next step is for me to give him a call. In the abstract, I'm thinking "Yeah, sure. It'll be easy." Then I realize that's wishful thinking. *Sigh*

Part of me wants to call him right now, to prove that I'm not afraid. Ha. Maybe tomorrow. It's strange. We went from enemies, to friends, to dating, to nothing, to... what? Maybe friends again. I have no idea if it'll work, but I think I ought to at least try. He's a good guy, it might work. Or, it might be terribly awkward and uncomfortable. Ugh. I guess there's nothing to do but find out.

Faux Dichro

"How'd you do that?"
-Repeated question


I've hit on a new polymer technique and I've made over a dozen pendants using it. I've had quite a bit of fun, even if some didn't turn out quite as I hoped. Those that turned out well look quite like dicrhoic glass which I love. Whoever invented pearlescent powders should be kissed.

Here are a couple of closer looks (pardon the aluminum foil - I promise better pictures later):

Road Trip: The Return

"Wanna hear a joke?
Ok.
Tell me I'm a desk.
You're a desk.
No I'm not."
-Kyle, relating a bad "joke" his friend told him

I made it all the way to Camii and back without major incident (save a traffic jam or two and a little bit of getting lost) and on time, since I had to work last night and got into town just an hour before I had to clock in. I've never been so glad that waitressing is an on-your-feet job as I was yesterday after spending about six and a half hours driving.

The visit itself was mundo wonderful. I got to see Camii's condo in person. The renovations she's done are lovely, I'm especially fond of the red & black dining area. I can't wait to see what she does with the rest of the rooms. I also got to meet Camii's boyfriend Kyle, who I quite like. We wandered around downtown and checked out the shops - including a rock shop that had two walls of semi-precious beads (it was like dying and going to heaven, but I limited myself to a strand of very cool lava rock beads because of the massive online order). We also went bowling, which was quite hilarious because we're both terrible bowlers.

Then, on Tuesday night we stayed up until after one a.m. chatting and looking through the box of old letters I sent her. That was wild, let me tell ya. Apparently, I'm quite neurotic (demonstrated by letters written in multi-colored pens, plastered with stickers and doodles, which leapt from topic to topic with little warning) . I never realized how tiny I sometimes write. We tried to figure out where the itty-bitty writing comes from, the best guess was that those were time when I was aggitated (though not always).

So, in short, we had great fun and I am so very glad I went to visit. The long-ass drive was well worth it.

No, I'm Not Dead

I've just be away from campus for a while. I'll continue to be away, also. Tomorrow I'm on my way to visit Camii for a couple of days. I promise I'll do some updating when I get back though, along with extra necklaces to play catch-up with.

New Anthologies

"I got your submission. Thanks for contributing."
-Me

Well, the last of the April WM anthology submissions are in. Now comes the part where I start editing things, then send them off to Kathleen, then look at them again, then give them to Katherine for breaking the ties where Kathleen and I disagree.

Oh yeah, and the SI anthology submissions are about to roll in. So, it looks like this summer I'll be working on two different anthologies at the same time. Man, I tell ya, by the time I graduate and stop working for Katherine, I'll be an old hand at making anthologies.

Speaking of which, the one I've been sweating and bleeding over for the past forever is oh-so-very near the point of being published. The paperwork for paying Fidlar-Doubleday is being created/processed and as soon as it's ready, off the PDF goes to the publisher. Then we okay the galleys, then we have the hardcopies in our grubby little hands. Hoorah! I can almost taste it.

Relationship Inventory

"I hate this phrase, I always have, and I hate it because it's so true: Everything happens for a reason. It's the shittiest thing to say to someone during bad and even not-so-great times, but after it's all over and you find the reason, it's also one of the best."
-Camii

The more I think about it, the more I keep coming back to all I've learned through my relationship with Keith. We had over three years of a very good relationship where we never had screaming matches, no one cheated, and we got good at resolving problems. Now that it's over, I keep reminding myself that there are still things I can take with me.

One of the key personal things is that Keith helped me work through a very tough time in my life. The summer before we started dating, I spent three months in Arkansas running a branch office for Vector marketing. I was responsible for nearly all aspects of the office, including payroll and bills, and essentially, I was running my own business. Things didn't go so well, and the business, in all the ways that matter, failed. I took a big emotional and financial hit. Keith helped me stop blaming myself, helped me build my self esteem back up, and gave me a point of reference when I felt like everything had fallen apart. I'll always be grateful to him for that.

Another important thing I can take away is an idea of my standards for a relationship. Whenever I get involved with someone new, I now have a better defined concept of the kind of person I'm looking for, thanks to both Keith's flaws (1) and his strengths (2).

1. First off, I'm looking for someone who:
Isn't so afraid of failure that he refuses to try something risky (and I'm not just talking about getting married, either).
Is more open minded, less judgemental.
Is more sure of themselves.
Has a good idea of who they are, and is comfortable with themselves.
Has a better relationship with their family, or at least tries to.
Takes better care of themselves (Keith had a habit of going all day without eating, then gorging when he did eat (usually crap, too), and of neglecting his sleep - sometimes going off of only four hours or less a night for days at a time, etc.).
Doesn't smoke (this includes the occasional cigar - gag me).
Allows me to have tastes that differ from his - i.e. won't argue with me about why I have to like death metal, or Space Above and Beyond, or residual cigar smell. Who won't sit down on the couch with me while I'm watching Grey's Anatomy then constantly tell me how/why it sucks, etc. For crying out loud, I can enjoy my own thing, you can enjoy yours, and it doesn't have to be a problem! Of course, this was a more recent development, rather than an ongoing one.
Actually has an interest in meeting/getting to know my friends. Keith almost always declined when I invited him to an English major get-together.
Doesn't drink/drinks less. When we started, he almost never drank. Then it grew on him - not to a point most people would consider excessive (not by far) but to a point that bothered me, a drink or two most nights, getting outright drunk every month or two (including at my housewarming party, which was one of the few times he actually spent time with my friends).
Is more positive and looks for solutions to problems rather than just the problems themselves.
Gets the writing thing.

2. I'm also looking for someone who:
Likes to touch/be touched, and I'm not really getting dirty here. I'm talking about holding hands in line at the movies, an arm around each other while we watch TV kind of stuff. Keith was very physically affectionate, which I liked.
Doesn't always need to talk to feel connected, someone comfortable with silence.
Keeps their commitments (No nasty jokes, ok?). If Keith said we were going to dinner Saturday night, we went to dinner Saturday night. If he told his friends he'd be there Saturday night to smoke cigars and drink Scotch, that's where he was. Once he said he'd be there, he was.
Looks forward to seeing me.
Shows me new and nifty things - Without Keith, I doubt I'd even know what Robot Chicken was.
Gets along with my family. Keith even got to the point where he'd give my mom a hug without her asking. Sometimes.
Likes it when I spend time with their friends.
Is in touch with their goofy side.
Doesn't have "traditional" ideas of gender roles. Sometimes Keith bought dinner, sometimes I did, and he liked to cook, had no problem cleaning, doing laundry, etc.
Accepts me as-is.
Is comfortable taking charge sometimes - like coming over and saying, "Okay, this is what we're going to do tonight: first dinner, then some episodes of American Dad."
Is honest with me.
Makes me feel valued - like they lucked-out in being with me.
Likes doing things with me, and is comfortable with us doing things separately also.
Trusts me.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

"Someone puked in the corner."
-Dave

Every year there's this thing called The B-Street Bash which happens each Friday in June. They set up on B Street (thus the name) about five yards from our back patio. There's live music, food, and booze. Half the town turns up, gets drunk, then comes to my bar when B-Street is over.

On the list of things I hate in the world, B-Street makes the top ten. Seriously. People come already drunk which means either they just want water or pop, or they're obnoxious. Oh yeah, and they like to stiff on tips. Obviously, the more money they spend tipping the waitress or bartender, the less money they have for booze. Duh!

Last night was the last one. Words cannot describe how happy that makes me.

There's Always Good With the Bad

"Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"
-Garth Brooks, "Unanswered Prayers"

Since Camii and I have been writing back and forth for so long, with each of us having our respective tough times, we've reminded each other more than once that no matter how bad the thing that happened is, it happened for the best. If we were Christians, we'd say something along the lines of Garth's song. The message is the same, whether there's religion involved or not: faith. As long as you have faith that there will be something positive that comes out of the negagive, you'll be able to find it.

The main difference between happy people and unhappy people is not their circumstances, but rather their attitude. There are people who whine and whine about every little thing, and people who are dying from cancer who celebrate every little thing. It's all about perspective.

With all my "talk" of feeling depressed and lonely, I thought it was time to throw in some positivity. Thus, here are some positive things that I've experienced in the past week:

Support from friends and family, and all everyone's done to try to cheer me up

Having my parents say, "You absolutely did the right thing"

A good writers group meeting, and dinner afterward

Farm cookies made specially for me

New toys for crafting - a dremel tool and pearlescent powders

Spending three hours yesterday experimenting with some polymer clay finishes and getting wonderful faux dichroic glass looks

Almost added to the list, but not quite, 'cause it's tomorrow:

The "End of the SI" Writing Marathon, which means not only will I be making no copies, but I'll also be enjoying free food, some neat people, and writing.

As far as the good that directly came out of this, it mostly comes down to the fact that if stress about the decision to get married was enough to make him leave, then how would we have managed once more serious stress came, like money worries? Then, not only would we be splitting up, we'd be getting divorced. Also, in the time Keith and I have known each other, and since we've started dating, we've both changed. For me, I've gained confidence. For him, he's lost it and picked up habits I despise, like smoking cigars. We weren't meshing as well as we used to, and why would that change just because we lived together? In this case, it's maybe not quite finding the good as avoiding a worse bad.

Cookies and an Anniversary

"Here, mom told me to bring these over to you."
-Casey

It's funny that one week later is harder than four days later. Then again, it makes complete sense. Four days after breaking up with Keith was just that. A week after is an anniversary. It has now been a specified unit of time since he gave me his key back and walked out of my house. A specified unit of time since I last saw him or spoke to him. Damnit, I was doing so well, and now it's hard again.

On the bright side, when my brother got into town, my mom gave him a package of farm cookies and instructions to deliver them to me right away. I think she wanted to get him to see me first thing so I could tell him the news. I have to say, the sympathy cookies taste very good. Farm cookies are in my top three cookie varieties, and I've never seen nor heard of them outside of the context of my family. They're like oatmeal cookies, except I guess the gal who created the recipe ran out of oatmeal, so she added cornflakes and coconut too. Mmm... Baked good aren't everything, but they help.

Road Trip!

"We have a couch and a couchbed you and your brother could sleep on, too."
-Camii

Last May, Camii and I met up in Denver for a day of chatting and wandering around the mall. Well, over a year's gone by since then, and it feels like time to see each other in person again - especially since my brother's home for the next few weeks and agreeable to going with me. I can't be positive yet, since I don't know my work schedule, but it seems that July 9-11 would be a good time to hop in the car and drive for five hours to Camii-land.

Since I just finalized my bead order (a few weeks until the other gals decide what they want, but I figured the longer I have to play with it, the larger and more expensive it'll get), there shouldn't be much temptation to hit the bead shop there. Okay, right, I'm probably lying. But, it sounds good, doesn't it?

Homesickness, Teddy Bears, and the Post-Keith Rebellion

"Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Whenever were together, that's my home."
-Billy Joel, "You're My Home"

Once the shock and anger wore off, I started having this feeling that I couldn't quite pin down. Then the other night I sat in my living room, watching TV and feeling this feeling, and suddenly I had a thought of "I want to go home." Silly, though, I was home. Then I figured it out.

Another weird thing that's happened is the teddy bear. When Keith and I first started dating, he had this teddy bear on his computer that an ex-girlfriend had given him. He said he wasn't attached to it, but just hadn't thrown it away. At that point, I made it my mission to claim the bear (i.e. "beat" the other girl by owning this thing she gave to him). Since then, the bear has been something I could grab as a stand-in of sorts for Keith. Now, even though we've split, the bear is still nice to have. The Keith connotation has faded, but the positive associations of the stuffed animal have stayed. So, when I've been feeling depressed/lonely the past few days, I've been hanging on to that bear and it makes me feel better. Kinda funny, isn't it?

On the bright side, it seems the worst has passed. I'm no longer a wreck. I've gone from being constantly sad to bitchy. My tolerance levels are incredibly low right now, but I'm okay with that. I'll take irritable over heartbroken any day. I mean, progress is progress, right?

As part of my progress, I find myself having a mini-rebellion against the habits I developed from being with Keith. For instance: I bought a pizza on Saturday and on the way I thought of what I should get on it. My first impulse was sausage, bell pepper, and mushrooms, which were about the only toppings Keith and I could agree on, and thus the kind of pizza we always got together. Then I caught myself and ordered a pineapple and canadian bacon pizza instead (he couldn't stand the idea of pineapple on pizza). Along these same lines, I'm thinking of cutting my hair even shorter and getting a dog. Not having Keith any more means there are many things I miss, but the flip-side is all the extra freedom I get from not having to compromise.

I find that as the hurting starts to wear off, I'm getting more and more excited about the freedom. Clear the polymer clay mess off the kitchen table to make room for another person? Bah!

Attack of the Scary Beads - Variations

I bought the scary beads out of an impulse to try something different. The first time I showed them to my brother, he actually cringed (thus the name). I quite like the scary beads, though. Anyhow, here's another example of variations on a theme, though in this case it's more like variations on a bead. Aside from the scary beads, the first necklace has copper-tone spacers, glass, and seed beads. The other two have the same, except silver spacers instead of copper.

I Realize This Won't Help....

but!

I have to be very clear that Owen is okay with this arrangement. My son still retains the biggest crush on you. (I know that the unadorned love of a five year old whose love can be bought with the cheapest of plastic toys is not really what you're looking for...but as a mother I have to make his case for him....)

And I love you too.

Impact

"This morning if someone had asked if you're gone
I would've managed a smile and said we're still hanging on
But if they pressed me I could've honestly said I don't know
Oh but that was a phone call and a six pack ago"
-"A Sixpack Ago" by Steve Wariner

I'm a mess today. The shock has worn off and the impact of what happened is really starting to hit me. This time yesterday, I had a fiancee and a plan of how the rest of my life would go. Today, I've lost both.

There's a chance he might call, try to work things out, but it's not likely. He said he'd made up his mind and that his doubts were strong enough to make him go and never come back. So, now I have to make peace with that. Somehow.

You know how they have these video clips of glaciers where all of a sudden a huge sheet of ice drops off the face of it and crashes into the water? Yeah, it's like that.

Betcha Didn't See This One Coming

I sure as hell didn't. Well, ladies and gents, come October Keith and I will not be getting married. This is because, as of about an hour ago, we have broken up. I'm taking it kinda hard. The worst part is, there isn't even a specific thing I can point to and say "that's why." The past few weeks we've been a bit distant from each other (I said wedding stress, he didn't agree and we got no further than that) and Keith said that was a big enough reason to think it won't work out. There's more to it than that, there always is, but that's as much as I'm ready to say about it right now. I'm feeling blindsided and I'm probably in shock.

So now, after nearly four years of automatically assuming I'll see or talk to Keith the next day, I won't.

Play the Hallelujah Music

"Alright, I think it's done."
-My Email to Katherine

It's hard to believe, but I think the 2005-2006 SI anthology is ready to be sent to the printer. This anthology, which I've been editing, transcribing, re-transcribing, editing again, formatting, and compiling for what seems my whole life, may be finally ready to send off. Whew. Now I just have to hope the computer doesn't crash and wipe everything all of a sudden, again. *Crosses fingers, toes, and eyes*

Gag Has a Cousin

His name is the Dancing Imp.

The Ever-Growing Bead Cart/How Much Tourmaline Does One Gal Need?

"Your cart: 64 Items, 98 Units"
-Firemountain Gems Website

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been returning time and again to the Firemountain Gems website to refine my shopping cart. This means I keep adding stuff. Right now, the total price on all I wish I could get is just under $275. It's all great stuff, and I know I'd use and love all the wonderful beads, findings, and misc. However, I'm not ready to dish out nearly three hundred dollars on one order of beads. Especially since, at the beginning of the month, I decided I'd been spending too much money on beads lately and it was my goal to go through June without any new bead purchases. Ha! It's all Rebecca's fault.

Adding to the problem is the new catalog the company sent me for signing up on their website. After perusing it for a while, I found a handful of nifty things I'd missed on the website (the two are organized differently, after all) and just took a bit of time to add most of them to my cart.

Now comes the really tough part - narrowing it down. This part is even tougher because of all the great deals, I mean, come on only $2.26 for a 16" strand of faceted fancy jasper beads, or $1.85 for a 36" strand of flourite chips, how can I pass those up? *Sigh* Still, something must be done. So, I've printed out my cart on paper and pulled out my pen. Time to go through the list and think about what I have to have vs. what I just really want.

Primitive "Jade"

I still haven't decided how much I like this one. The polymer was an experiment with opalescent powder and translucent clay + a bit of green and blue. Constance thought it looked like jade, and I'm stealing her description. I like the shapes, but I'm not sure yet about the color. Kinda depends on what mood I'm in. The disc beads are aventurine.

Sometimes, Working at a Bar is Funny

Like, when I walk over to check on a table at just the right time to walk into this conversation between one of our regulars and two middle-aged gals:
"Donny, you're such a man-whore. (turns to me) Isn't he?"
-Gal

Poor guy, he was out-numbered. However, I could honestly say that I haven't noticed him to be particularly whorish. Mostly I see him alone or talking with either Julia or K.C. the doorguy. Not all that slutty. I have to add, though, that his two gal pals seemed quite keen on the idea anyway. A bit of vicarious living, perhaps?

Being Engaged

"What about the ring?"
-Question asked by different people when I told them I was engaged

In some ways, I'm very different from my mom and in some I'm very much alike. Case in point: engagement rings. My mom has an opal "engagement" ring which she got a few years after she and my dad were married. She wears it on special ocassions. When my folks were first engaged, she said she didn't want one - she preferred to put that money towards something else, like their honeymoon.

I have no engagement ring, and people have tended to think it's weird. Julia suggested I go get an inexpensive cubic zirconia ring so I'd have something, and I thought about it - especially at the times when random drunk guys showed how they thought I work at a bar because I'm looking to meet men. Ultimately, though, I've decided it's not worth the trouble. I don't wear rings much, and I figure after October an engagement ring'd be a moot point anyway. I do plan to wear a wedding band (Keith and I are thinking maybe stainless steel or such).

It's funny, the closer this wedding gets, the more untraditional I want it to be. I'm the one getting married, I want to call the shots. The good news is, so far no one is having any problems with that. All my folks said was, "Just let us know what you want us to do," and my mom even said, "This is your wedding, I want you to do it how you want. I didn't get to."

In related news, I just found this article: http://www.slate.com/id/2167870

New Moon's Arms

"I don't know; maybe this was on the sand already, and something else fell on my head." Bare Bear winked her one glass eye at me. So long I hadn't seen her. "A leaf from out a sea grape tree, something like that. Right, Bare Bear?" I hugged Lucky Bare Bear to my chest. I grinned at Hector. "She get small over the years, or I get big." She still fit in her old place, up against my breastbone.


Book Review: The New Moon’s Arms, by Nalo Hopkinson. Of all the novels I’ve read, this one falls much closer to the bottom of the list than the top. I'd call it mediocre, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, the idea is neat and swimming in myth (pun intended). I dig her whole take on selkies, and the way she integrates Caribbean folklore. However, I don’t dig the way she brings up characters and/or plot elements and continually lets them fall by. I just now realize that she was probably trying to cram too much into one novel. Either that or, as she was writing, she forgot what she’d already written and forgot about the various things she brought up earlier but never did anything/much with. The weird thing is, she’s an award-winning writer, and this is her fourth novel. Oi. Well, more power to her, I guess. This book wasn’t quite bad enough to set aside, but I’ve definitely seen better storytelling. I wonder if she was getting lazy by the time she got to this one.

Bead Binge

"We order together and always end up getting the maximum discount."
-Rebecca

So, it turns out that Rebecca and her friends are getting ready to do another bead order through Firemountain Gems and I'm invited to go in on it. I've been perusing the website and adding oodles of stuff to my cart. Right now I'm up to a total of 80 things in my cart, though a lot of that is doubles (or, in the case of some silver spacers, 15Xs) of things. I'm getting lots of semi-precious stones, like three different shapes of tourmaline; lots of metal beads, which are great with anything; a generous handful of mother-of-pearl and freshwater pearls; and a smattering of glass beads; along with a bit of miscellany like extra bead wire. The most exciting single items: gorgeous blue coin pearls and two Buddha pendants, one of which is labradorite.

I'm so excited to get all my stuff, even though part of me is appalled at how much I'll be getting (not to mention spending). Then again, the discount will be awesome and I'm averaging out to spending only about $2.00 on any given thing, which is dirt cheap. Now, I just have to wait a couple more weeks until Rebecca's friend is ready to put in the order, and then wait for it to get here... Dang it. I want my beads now.

Orange Chips

These beads are one of the weirdest things I've seen lately. They're shaped like gemstone chips, but they're actually glass. Strange. I added a few seed beads and put together a simple necklace. One which goes quite well with my orange shirt today.

Bye to David

I don't want to write the post twice, so here's a link:
http://dwtdwende.blogspot.com/

Everyone's feeling bummed around campus right now.

SI 2007

"My name is Ali, I'm a grad student here on campus, and I'll be making all your copies."
-Me introducing myself yesterday

This year's Summer Institute has officially begun. We have fifteen participants, including a gal named Olga who came over all the way from Russia, which I think is pretty nifty.

Today is day two of the SI and I've already burned through about 3,000 copies, thanks to all the various documents that everyone needs and handouts for demonstrations, and assigned readings. Whoo-boy, we're smokin' now.

On a nifty note, it's been decided that this year's SI will end with a writing marathon, instead of a visitor's day. Katherine invited me to participate and I'm looking forward to it. WMs are fun and there'll be free food. It's a win-win. Right now I've been on and off the phone with folks at Angelo's Pizza Parlor and Cafe Zajj scheduling room reservations and food. At the Cafe, we're going to get to binge on pastries and desert crepes, mmm... I can't wait for the SI to be over!

Smudge-Pies

Here is how you make smudge-pies, which are not like s'mores at all :)

Step One: Butter two pieces of bread.

Step Two: Lay the first, butter side down, on one half of the smudge-pie maker. Add a dollop of canned pie filling (apple, in this picture).

Step Three: Add the other piece of bread and put the smudge-pie maker together.

Step Four: Cook over the fire. (Demonstrated here by Kelsey)Step Five: Eat.

Uneven Polymer

My favorite thing about this necklace is how the dark blue and gold play off each other. The polymer was made using an uneven jellyroll cane, where I crumpled the sheets as I rolled them. The effect isn't incredibly pronounced, though. The other beads are brass spacers, metallic seed beads, and freshwater pearls.

The New David

The committee has conferred and made a decision. David's replacement will be the poet Juan Morales. Cheers.

English Major Camping Trip

"Simon just called me. The original campsite is full, but they found another one a few miles up the road. So follow the original directions, but instead of Forest Road 231, you now need to take Forest Road 240. The camp is 4 or 5 miles up that road. Look for a sign (I think) that says Angel of Shibano (or something like that). Please call Simon at ###-#### if you get confused."
-Email from Shane

A couple of years ago, a big chunk of our close-knit English major group graduated. As a way of having a last get-together before everyone scattered, Simon, Lydia and James came up with the idea to go camping. This weekend will be the third annual EMCT. The best part is how most of my Englishy friends have very limited camping experience. On the first trip I became famous as the outdoorsy gal. It was funny.

Actually, with Dorothy there, it was hilarious. Dorothy brought rubber gloves with her to the great outdoors and had James pour water bottles over her head so she could wash her hair. We were up at San Isabel, i.e. no facilites. One of the nights, I walked with Dorothy to the "bathroom" because she was nervous to go by herself. On the way we heard random animal noises and she was a little freaked out, thinking the mountain lions and bears were right beside us. "No, Dorothy, I'm sure it's just a chipmunk." Like I said, hilarious.

So, on Sunday, Mishell and I are going to load up my car and head up to meet everyone at the campgrounds and spend the night. It'll be fun. I just have to remember to borrow the smudge pie makers from my parents. Mmm... smudge pies.

Ben Is For Beneficial

“I just wanna make sure you’re happy, okay? If you’re not happy, I want you to tell me. How much would make you happy? What’s your name again?”
-Ben

Dealing with drunks is part of working at a bar. Ditto that for dealing with crazy drunks. So, on Saturday, I wasn’t all that surprised that we had one. The far more surprising thing was that he, apparently, had way too much money and wanted to share it. Now, hearing someone blather on about how they’re going to “take care of you” isn’t that uncommon. Having them actually do it, is. Having them “take care of you” and then some, is, extremely rare. Ben wanted Dave and I to be happy. I think he also wanted us to like him.

So, when Ben and his two friends came downstairs on Saturday night, he gave Dave a twenty, asked for five in quarters, and told him to keep the rest. When Dave brought over a few free shots as a thank-you, he handed Dave a ten dollar bill. He was very emphatic about us making sure he and his friends weren’t “fucked with.” This was monstrously easy to do since the bar was dead and we barely had ten people downstairs throughout the whole course of the night.

Ben quickly ran out of cash. I ran his credit card three times, each of which I had to physically place the card into his hand for fear he’d forget it. Each of which I also filled in the tip and the total and he signed it without looking at the numbers. He was adamant about spending money. When I was running the second slip, and he was going on again about how his name is Ben and he wants to make sure I’m happy, I mentioned it was my birthday. He tells me to add another twenty dollars to my tip. Thanks man. So I put a thirty dollar tip on a $13.50 round of drinks.

As the night progresses, he ends up tipping me $50 on the credit cards. He keeps saying that he won’t be happy unless Dave and I both go home with $100 (which means we’ll be happy). Okay, I have no problem with that. So, at the end of the night, when he and his pals say “no more, we’re headed home” he wanders over to the bar for one more round of shots (two for him, two for Dave, and one for me that I never drink because he’s already bought me about four and I only drank those ‘cause it was my birthday and I felt like “what the hell?”) I hand him the credit card slip, $22.50. He asks me how much he should put for a tip, what would make me happy.

- Now, let me tell you that this guy has been demanding, not in a mean way, but in a “You know, I’ve got another table wanting drinks, let me bring those over before you make me take another shot” kind of way. He’s also been ranting on and on about how he makes way too much money. I made ten dollars the night before. It’s my birthday. And, he wants me and Dave to be happy. So, this is what I said:

“Well, you said you want me and Dave to go home with a hundred dollars each tonight, and right now we’re both up to about fifty. You wanna do a hundred, fifty for me and fifty for him?”

Ben said, “Alright, let’s do it.”

I filled out the slip, he signed it, and I handed Dave two twenties and a ten. We all went home happy. As for me, I’m kinda proud of myself. Normally, I wouldn’t have the balls to do something like that. However, on this particular night, I figured I had nothing to lose – especially given our benefactor’s lack of any kind of short term memory. Thus, by going with my impulse, I made Dave and I fifty dollars each in the course of ten seconds. Not bad for a night’s work. The best part, is that since I only had a few other customers, since most of Ben’s payments and tips were via credit card, and since I only start out each night with fifty dollars cash, by the end of the night, the bar ended up owing me money when I closed out my bank. Not bad for working on my birthday, eh?

P.S. This is the kind of thing that never happens. Don't start thinking this is in any way typical. What usually happens is people come in, talk big, and leave a lousy tip or stiff me on it.

Deb's Blog

"The pressure is on. A first post on the new blog. Should I be sincere? Funny? Informative?

'The First' is always special and unforgettable, right? Not always. Sometimes The First is painful, embarrassing or messy."
-Deb

So begins my friend Deb's new blog about her first novel and being an editor at Apollo's Lyre. Extra bonus: she's also a great big fan of Great Big Sea.

http://theyremakingmeblog.blogspot.com/

Simply Purple

This set is about as simple as it gets, purple glass beads with silver bugles (or just chain, for the earrings). This pair of earrings is one of my favorites, I really like using chain to create dangles because it really highlights the beads and keeps the earrings fairly light weight where same-sized drop with a line of beads wouldn't.

Took a Walk the Other Day

Oh digital camera, how I love thee. The other day it was nice and spring-like, so I went on down and took a walk by the river. I came home with about seventy pictures. Pictures are fun. So is picture editing software.

Wyatt

Movie Review: Wyatt Earp. After watching, and thoroughly enjoying, Tombstone, I thought I'd check out the competition. Tombstone came out way ahead. Wyatt Earp meanders through his whole damn life and makes sure to leave nothing out, for better or worse - I'd argue the latter. Where Tombstone benefits from taking liberties with facts to create a more compelling movie, Wyatt Earp loses sight of the story and gets bogged down in history.

I Wanna Be a Cowboy

200th

"So I'm usurping the 100th post. [insert evil laughter here] Neener, neener Ali!"
-Camii

Ha! You'll not get this one, you devious person, you!

So, last night Jay Udall workshopped three poems during class and we all talked about him after he left. Two PD (Potential Davids) down, one to go. The third will be coming to class Thursday and then, within about a week, the committee will make their choice. We're getting very close to finding a new David, and I'm starting to think more and more about being sad to see him go. The would-be poets out at American University are soon to be very luck folk indeed.

Meta Moment/New Blog

Since so many of my posts of late have had to do with writing, I've decided to launch a new, slightly more professional blog, founded in what Jay Udall said the other night. The blog: http://dwtdwende.blogspot.com/

Wish it luck.

Another Reason Joss is My Hero

"I’ve always had a bent towards apocalyptic fiction, and I’m beginning to understand why. I look and I see the earth in flames. Her face was nothing but red."
-Joss Whedon, http://whedonesque.com/comments/13271#more

I don't know if he planned it that way or not, but by adding the last sentence, Joss had a very poetic (if horrifying) moment in his post, which addresses a home video of an arab girl being beaten to death in an "honor killing." He makes an excellent point too, that while the act in and of itself is terrible, the fact that there were people who could calmly stand by and record it on their cell phone cameras is all that much worse. It's horrifying what people are capable of.

Okay, but why does this reaffirm Joss's hero status? Well, while his outrage and horror at the event are no more than I would expect from any intelligent and feeling person, he has the extra responsibility of being famous. And, he steps up to the plate and uses his fame for something more than promoting his next project. I have to give kudos to all celebrities who champion causes and speak out against the things that are wrong in the world. With all that influence and press, they ought to be doing something productive with it. Joss knows this, and that's exactly what he does.

Scary Poems

"Give me your hand
skinny, beautiful Danny
with a pock mark scar
on his left cheek
said in sixth hour English"
-Barbed Wire, by me

David said to write a "close looking" poem for our second one, and a memory popped into my head of a guy I knew my freshman year of high school. One day while we were bored he drew on my wrist, a line of barbed wire, like a bracelet. It was a very strange, almost surreal, experience - especially since I had such a crush on him. Putting that down was one of the most scary things I've done in writing because of how incredibly intimate/personal the memory is. (Ha! Not anymore!)

I knew, despite the scary factor, that it was the right thing to do. I was hitting a nerve and that tends to be where the best poetry lies. Not the big "this is why I am what I am" kind of hitting a nerve, like writing an "I have issues with my mom/dad" poem, but digging out that memory that sticks with you even though it was only a moment kind of hitting a nerve. To date, I think it's the best poem I've written (and the class & David agree).

After reading and writing poetry on and off for a few years, maybe I'm finally starting to figure it out. To really get to the good stuff, you have to get to the scary stuff. It's all about taking that which is intensely personal and laying it out, layer by layer. Tough, especially for me, given how private and wrapped up I am.

A Book for the Morbidly Curious

Book Review: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach. Jenny told me to read this book, and I, ever obedient to Jenny's will, went to the library and got it. All-in-all, I read it in a day and found lots of interesting information - though an episode on Nip/Tuck had already shed light on the use of cadaveric heads for practicing plastic surgery. While she doesn't shy away from grisly practices, and gives overviews of things many people probably didn't really want to know (like how the brain of a decomposing body will literally ooze out of the ears), she also colors the chapters with a touch of humor and some neat historical points. A very interesting, and fun, read which makes me think I'd like to be composted when I die.

Not Big With the Sympathy

"Where's your sympathy?"
-Mom

On occasion, my mother has called me, usually jokingly, heartless. I’m not big on “ooh, that’s too bad” stuff when people complain. Why? Because of things like Saturday.

Katherine stopped by the bar for a while, along with a smattering of SCWP folk. One of whom is in the masters program and I’ve known her for a while. To be honest, I’m not a big fan. Let me explain: drama. On Saturday, Katherine and another gal were feeling badly for her, they even got her a shot out of sympathy. When this gal went out for a cigarette, I went out to pick up glasses from the patio and asked her about why she was so stressed.

I got a laundry list of every little problem she had, like the pump on her swamp cooler went out, her car’s having problems, her mom’s coming to visit and her house is messy, she’s so busy with SCWP, and she’s got a lot of school deadlines due at the end of the month. By the way, these school deadlines are her finishing up coursework for classes she took a semester or two ago and currently has an incomplete in. I was in one of those classes, I don’t think it was that overwhelming. Yeah, she works full time. Great. Um, so do I, and during the semester we had a class together, I think that was her only class (I took two). She doesn’t even have time-absorbing kids as an excuse. The best part was how she whined about not being able to even have the summer off because of SCWP (which is one month of the three of break). As I write this, I’m trying to remember the last time I had three months in a row where I didn’t have to go to work. I think it was middle school. Anyhow, during her litany, I nodded and said “yeah” and then tried to walk back inside. She kept right on talking. Yeesh. I wanted to tell her “Get the hell over it already, most of these problems are of your own making anyway.”

Then, on the other hand, we have Julia. She works three-four nights a week at the bar, including the occasional killer 2:30 p.m. – 2:00 a.m. (if she’s lucky) shift. She also works around thirty + hours as a caretaker, and she’s been taking classes. She finally got her bachelor’s on May 5th and had the whole week off of work for it. The week before she was looking forward to getting some housework done. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the chance. Her brother’s new baby died, SIDS strikes again, and she spent the week in Kansas for the funeral. Instead of getting a chance to have some time to herself and celebrate her degree, she got to spend some time with family, grieving over her nephew’s death. While she told me what happened, and I could tell how sad she was, she did not go on and on about how her life sucks.

Isn’t it funny how the people who complain the most are often those that have the least to complain about?

A Good Buy

I bought the glass pendant at the good bead shop in town, We've Got Beads. (There are two others, which are less impressive). The shell nuggets came from Co. Springs, and the apatite was also from Co. Springs, though from a different shop - the now defunct Bonnie's Beads. I love necklaces like this one because it's a great example of how beads I've bought from totally different places, and at very different times, all come together and just click. There are some necklaces where, when I wear them, I'm almost guaranteed that someone will offer a compliment. This is one of them. After the first time I wore it, I had to go back and get a couple more pendants, because to do anything else would have been silly.

Dinner With a Potential David

"Poetry is dancing with the dwende." Very mythical, yeah?
-Jay Udall

On Saturday, Katherine came to the bar for a bit and invited me to come to dinner with the 2nd David-candidate on Sunday. Candidate #2 is the poet Jay Udall. Nice guy. He's getting the campus tour/going through interviews right now and will be in class tonight to workshop a couple of poems and talk to us.

Candidate #1 was a gal who signs her name Darlin', though her formal name escapes me. Also nice, and a fiction writer. I didn't like the way she ran workshop, though. She separated criticism and praise (which is so restricting, because most comments work best as "Your strongest part is X, the weaker part is Y, so take another look at Y and think what you were thinking for X" and without being able to make a comparison, it's tough and less helpful) and let the author say something at the end. I don't want an explanation. The point is that you say it in what you wrote, and if you didn't, tough. I can understand her idea behind doing things that way, but I'm not sold.

Going back to last night, I learned a few things about Jay that won't likely come up in class tonight. For instance, I know he has a six year old daughter and tendonitis in both arms, which is why he can't play guitar anymore. He did bring his harmonica, though, so I can easily picture him and David having a "jam" session, or at least what passes for one when you get two geeky poets together. I'm very curious to see what he does in workshop. From asking last night, I get that he does pretty much what David does, but he didn't mention whether the writer was silent during comments. One nifty thing he did mention was that he often likes to have someone other than the writer read the poem aloud (then have the poet read it) because someone who didn't write the poem will read it differently. I think that's a neat idea for making sure what's on the page is what you mean to be on the page - i.e. like the line breaks are where they ought to be kind of stuff.

Dinner was neat, there were six of us all together, and I was the only one who was strictly a student and nothing else. After being bummed out about the T.A., the semi-special dinner was nice and makes me feel a little more loved. I was a representative for the collective graduate students. I'm important again. Or maybe at least convenient.

Denver Zoo

On the third day, we pack up, check out, and head to Denver Zoo on the way back home. It was fairly warm (mid 80's or so) and I was wearing jeans and walking shoes (i.e. not sandals) so I was feeling pretty toasty. So, it seemed, were many of the animals. A lot of the creatures were napping or lazing around.

Except for those who decided to get a little more proactive about cooling off.

After roaming the zoo for a few hours, we headed home in a nice, air-conditioned car. The best part, I didn't even get sun burned.

Estes Park Pictures - Day Two

We're up and walking around downtown about 10:30, and on the circuit of shops we stop by the little park area near the end of the road. They've got a few sculptures scattered about. This one's my favorite.

Since I've been talking about getting a sunset picture, Keith and I walk across the street to a meadow and wait around for forty-five minutes before realizing that, since the sky is clear, any sunset I get will be pretty bland since there are no clouds to soak up the color.

However, we do find another sing of elk, though this one is beyond the point of grazing behind the cottage.

Estes Park Pictures - Day One

Digital cameras are a beauitful thing. During the time Keith and I were in Estes Park and touring Denver Zoo, I took 183 pictures. Whoo-boy. Once I got home and loaded them on my computer, I quickly deleted a large chunk (roughly half, I think) but it was quite nice to have so many to pick and choose from. Just think, had I used a regular, film-requiring, camera, I wouldn't have all my lovely pictures.

Keith and I arrived in the early afternoon and checked into our cottage.

Around 6:00 things started looking gloomy and soon enough, it rained, sleeted, and hailed.

The mountains looked wonderful though, and when we came back to the cottage after picking up supplies from the grocery store, a handful of elk were just over the fence behind the cottage.

New Adventures in Poetry-land

"It'll be good."
-David

Tonight begins Eng. 640, a four week summer poetry workshop. I'm a bit apprehensive:

1. Most of the people in this workshop are inexperienced as poets + the misconception that poetry is "easy" = potential for a lot of "I feel" or "I think deep thoughts" poetry.

2. I haven't written any poetry (save random word poetry for Camii) in nearly two years. I'm rusty.

On the bright side, I know a lot of fun people will be in class, so - however, the potential difficulties fall - there should be a good group dynamic.

Misfires

In the process of all this jewelry making that I do, I make a lot of pieces I'm happy with, and a few that I end up not so fond of. So, here are some of my misfires.

I like the polymer beads for this one, but putting them together with gold and carnelian makes the necklace look more washed out than anything else. The gold, especially, is just too much. In theory, the gold and the red stone would have echoed/pulled out the corresponding colors in the beads, but actually doing it just didn't quite work.




I mixed the howlite and glass beads in another necklace, and really liked the combination. However, my impulse to add the dangles just botched the design. With them hanging off the necklace, the piece looks overweight and bulky.

This one is made with experimental beads, and while the end result (reminiscent of tiger eye) is kind of fun, the spacer beads make the design fall flat. Perhaps pairing the polymer beads with some genuine tiger eye could improve things.

Last Call

I'm totally fed up with the two guys out in PA who said they wanted jewelry from me for their wives. They said this in February, before Valentine's day. I still have not received payment from them. One of the necklaces I made specifically for one of the guys (including the polymer beads), because he liked one of my others that now belongs to Anissa. So, I do a custom job for him within a week, because I wanted to get the deal done ASAP and I don't like making people wait on me. I told them this one was ready:

They said, "great" and now it's the middle of May and I still have no check. Boy am I ever glad I said I would send the jewelry after I got the payment. At least this way, I may have no money, but I do still have the merchandise. So, today I send them an e-mail saying I have someone else interested in the pieces (okay, a lie) and they have one week to send me payment or I will no longer hold the jewelry for them (totally honest). Maybe this is the kick in the pants they needed, or maybe not. Either way, in another week I can stop this irritating waiting on them to get in gear. I mean, three months. My god. It does NOT take that long to write a check, it really doesn't.